Real Life Romance

This is real stuff.  Hope you don't mind me sharing it with you.

*Read the comment from Lillian for another reminder of why really loving each other is so important.

.............................................................................

Yellow ranunculus make me think about when I fell in love.

They were the first flowers Aaron ever brought me.

He was romantic from the very beginning.

He planned us picnics, surprised me with things like a train trip to visit the San Juan Mission and wrote me lots and lots of love letters.

He knew how to woo me.

We've been together now for almost 17 years.
Married for almost 13.
He still brings me flowers and writes me love letters.
Mostly I plan our dates, but sometimes he surprises me still.
But truthfully, the way romance looks in our relationship has changed.
And I think it's better now.
Because it is real.

Having a baby changes things.
It forces you to reveal your true self to your husband in a way you may never have before.
You get fat.
You get stretch marks.
You cry a lot and eat ice cream in bed.
You aren't the girl he fell in love with, always wanting to hold hands and snuggle on the couch.
The 2 of you can't even fit on the couch together anymore.


I wrote this story about one of my favorite memories of Aaron loving me, shortly after James, our first, was born.
I was a weeping, tired, and distraught new mommy.
And Aaron did something far more romantic for me than bring home flowers.
He met me where I was and loved me.  (go read it)
Real love is patient.  
Real love is kind.

After William, our second, was born, I was in the hospital recovering from a c-section.
Aaron stayed with me the whole time and got to be a part of it all.
Even the parts that I never thought I'd let him be a part of.
After a c-section, you have to have a bowel movement before you can go home.
It's a big deal.
I know, so romantic.
So, there I was, having my big moment, and Aaron was practically in the bathroom with me.
There was no hiding what was going on.
"Way to go babe!" he cheered for me from the adjoining room.
"How embarrassing," I thought.
Later on, I had to ask him to come in the bathroom and change my pad because I couldn't bend over.
Really. Really embarrassing.
Actually, I was mortified.


But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I didn't need to be.
Because it was real.
Real life and real love is not always pretty.
It is caring for one another even when it's gross, ugly or you really don't want to.
Real love is not self seeking.  


Real love is holding your wife in the shower while the tears course down her cheeks and the blood courses down her legs, and you are losing your baby.
It is loving your husband even when you hate him.
Real love is hanging on, saying "I'm sorry", saying "I forgive you" and meaning it.
Real love perseveres.

The other night, Aaron scrubbed the tub.
I didn't ask him to.  He just did it.
He knows how hard it is for me to get in there now and really give it a good scrub.  I have a pretty huge belly in the way.
Tonight he is going to paint my toe nails.
Romantic?
Maybe not to you.
But to me, right now, it could not be more romantic.


I think about couples who have been married for 40 or 50 years.
I think of the good and bad they have experienced together.
I think of the ugly times and the beautiful times.
I see them together at the store sometimes, walking slowly, helping each other get the shopping done.
I saw them in my grandparents.  My grandma cared for my grandpa so lovingly when he could hardly hear anymore, or get out much.  She helped him to the bathroom and made him the meals he loved to eat.  She did it every day because she loved him.
I see these couples and their wrinkles, their walkers and the way the things that used to matter don't matter so much anymore.


I am just beginning to really learn what that kind of love is.
And it is my greatest hope that someday Aaron and I will be walking slowly through the grocery store together, still holding hands and still in love.
Real love.


This kind of real love has been freely given to me, so that I can freely give it to others.
Romans 5:8,
"But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
1 John 4:10
"This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."
John 15:13
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."


Show someone you really love them today.
Love from,
Greta
* For more on real love, and more of our story, go here.

Best Friends

Do you remember your first best friend?
Mine was a boy named Ben.
He was more than my best friend.  
I loved him.  I was certain I was going to marry him,
He had red hair and I don't remember much about the games we played together.
But I do remember he was the first boy that kissed me.
I really hope this doesn't get back to him somehow and embarrass him terribly. 
It was a long time ago.
I think we were 3.


After that, there was my neighbor Erin. 
She lived only a few houses away and I could walk to her house.
Then she moved and I was devastated.
She moved to Leucadia--about 40 minutes.  But that is a world away when you're 7.
I still have most of the letters she sent me and her address there is still imprinted on my memory.


Then there was another neighbor, Laurel.  
We were best friends for a long time.
It broke my heart when she moved.
Far away for reals this time--to Bakersfield.
One of the greatest adventures of my childhood was when Laurel and I rode the train together from Oceanside to Bakersfield.
By ourselves. 
I think I was 12 and, let me tell you, did we ever feel grown up.
Laurel had been driven down to spend a week with me and then we trained north to spend a week at her house.
My mom let us pick out treats to eat on the train.
I remember Jelly Bellys and Pringles.
We rode first class and sat with an older couple who promised to watch out for us.
We chatted with them and even exchanged addresses.
They sent us postcards.


There is something about the best friends of your childhood.
They are special in a way that no one else is.
There are memories you share with them that you will never lose.
Sometimes you are lucky enough to stay friends with someone your whole life.
Real friends--like they didn't' move far away, or even if they did, you've never lost touch.
Those friendships are something to be cherished.

James and Noah have been best friends since before they were born.
They were born 3 weeks apart and have been playing together ever since.
They love each other deeply and fiercely.
Oh yes, they often fight like brothers.
They are crazy competitive.
But that doesn't change how much they love each other.
James wants to comb his hair like Noah.
If Noah's mom suggest he wear shorts for the day, Noah will ask, 
"is James going to wear shorts?"
For James, life is sweeter when Noah is there.


They love the same things: drawing, Legos, dress up, and being Cub Scouts together.
I hope they can be best friends forever.
It's only been 7 years and they already have a life time of memories together.


Friendships, old or new, are such an incredible gift.
I have seen this to be true in my own life more in the past year than ever before.
I am deeply grateful for good, true friends.




Love from,
Greta

This Home Schooling Life: Learning From the Experts

Last week we had some work done in our kitchen.  It was a lot of fun.  
Not just for me (new counters, new sink, a garbage disposal and an almost ready dishwasher) but also fun for my boys, who watched the men who came to work on the kitchen.
They asked to watch each part of the process and as long as they are quiet and unobtrusive, I always let them.
It is a fantastic way for them to see, in real life, experts at work.
It's one of my favorite parts about home schooling actually. (uh, yeah, I have a lot of favorite things)


Because what often happens is, those experts don't just do their work and ignore the kids, they invite them to come alongside, talk to them, answer questions and teach them things that I could not.
And all this is happening in real time.  On the field, so to speak.
It isn't a presentation in front of a class with pictures on the overhead screen.
It's down on the floor, looking under the sink and checking for leaks.
It's getting to see, touch and maybe even use real tools on a real job.
It's just the kind of learning I like best.

Our plumber is wonderful.  (Harry's Rooter and Plumbing if you need one around here)
He didn't mind a bit when James wanted to sit on the floor next to him and watch him install the sink, the garbage disposal and dishwasher. (which, turns out will involve a whole new pipe being installed, so the plumber will be back and I'm still waiting to use my dishwasher.  but I'm ok with it.  it's ready and waiting and soon, I'll use it)
He listened to James myriad of questions and asked questions in return.
He showed him how the disposal worked and let him work it before it was installed, to fully understand the mechanics of it.
They discussed the names and functions of different tools, a hack saw, a drill, and why caulking is important.

After everything was installed, the boys learned you have to run the water and check for leaks.

They both took the job very seriously.

They were thrilled to hear the water running through the pipes.

No leaks were found.

Later that day, the boys learned about electricity when the electrician came.
They saw the different tools, learned about the fuse box, and ways to be safe when working with electricity.  They had a blast.


The amazing thing about this learning from experts is that it happens all the time.
Or it can happen.  
My kids are interested in life, and they like to ask questions.  And when someone is generally interested in what you are doing, you want to share your knowledge.


A couple of months ago we were on the Palos Verdes peninsula.
It is a prime spot for whale watching as the whales travel the channel there on their way north and south each year.
There is a small interpretive center with exhibits for the kids to explore as well as a large terrace on top of the bluffs, from which migrating whales can be spotted.
There was a very sweet, elderly lady there, volunteering, keeping count of the whales who passed that day.  She called our kids over to tell them there were some whales coming our way.

She then proceeded to pull out her own books and field guides to teach the kids all about whales.

She showed them what to look for when they were scanning the horizon, what it is called when a whale goes under, or brings his tail up, how long it takes between a spout and a breach and so much more.

She let them use her high powered binoculars.

And sure enough, we saw some whales!

It was a magical end to our nature study day.
Made so much more so by an expert who was happy to share her love of a subject, and her knowledge of it with a bunch of little kids who were eager to learn.
The best part of all this, my kids get to experience passion.
That lady loved watching whales and she was excited to share that with us.


So much of our learning takes place away from the table, away from our papers and even our books.  
The world is our classroom!
And it is so exciting.
Love from,
Greta

Surprise!

They told me we were getting together to celebrate my father-in-law's birthday.

And we were.

But first we were celebrating something else!

My husband and his sister pulled it off--a surprise baby shower for me and this sweet little one currently residing in my big belly.
I didn't suspect.  
Until I saw a long table of food in the house.  "No told me we're having a big party for Dad...."
Then I saw the smiles of so many women whom I love.
And they yelled, "surprise!"
It was really, really fun.


Aaron called his sister in January with the idea and asked her for her help.
She pretty much did it all.  
Now that's some kind of sister.
He owes you big time, Jessica.
And while Aaron could never have pulled it off without his sister's help, I am very impressed that he started the planning so far in advance.
I love the man, but he is not known for his planning skills.
In times past when he has tried to plan a party for me, it has gone something like this, "hi, I'm planning a birthday party for Greta.  It's tomorrow." 
He knew I've always secretly, and not so secretly, wanted a surprise party.
And what better time to surprise someone than when she is 7 months pregnant and in need of a little pampering?
Thank you, babe.  Really.  A big, huge thank you.

It was kind of overwhelming.  In a good way.
After I hid in the kitchen and cried for a minute or 2, I managed to collect myself enough to take a few pictures.  (it's hard to take pictures of an event that's in your honor)


The food was amazing.  Lots of my favorite things.  
Like The Leek and Goat Cheese Tart.
Everyone kept calling it "Greta's recipe".  While that made me feel awesome, I gave full cred to Molly.

Not only did Jessica outdo herself with food, but she rocked the decorations as well.
This is on of my favorite fabrics.  I used it on the curtains in the kids' room.
She used it on the table.

And on these mobiles.  Cute, cute, cute.  More pics and a little tutorial on how she made them over on Picnics tomorrow.

She gave me some to take home and they look perfect in the kids' room.

There was a lot of attention to detail.
Like these, my favorite Easter candies: Cadbury mini eggs.  Oh how I love them.

Did I mention that Jessica has 4 kids, ages 8, 6, 2 and 6 month old?  And she did this shower for me at her house? All while having to take breaks to nurse the baby and take care of her family.
She blows me away.
Thank you Jessica.  You gave me such a wonderful gift.  I love you.


Oh, and the presents were pretty nice too.  More on those tomorrow.  
(no the pram isn't mine.  but isn't it adorable?)

But honestly, the very best part of the day was being surrounded by so many people who I love.  
I know how busy these ladies are.  They have kids, husbands, baseball games to go to, birthday parties to host (the night before and that very morning) weddings to plan, 1.5 hour drives and all the other things that take place on a Saturday.
And they all set aside time to be there.
For me.
It was the sweetest gift of all.
And yes, I'm still crying every time I think about it.

I didn't get pictures of everyone because, like I said, it's hard to remember pictures when there is good food to eat, people to visit with and presents to open.  I did manage a few.


Up above is one of my favorite blogging buddies, Betsi, of My 3 Little Birds.
She has walked with me through a lot of crud in the past year.  Her friendship, via the world wide web, has been a true blessing to me.  She drove her tied, pregnant self a long way to be there.  It was so fun to see her.


And my little brother came, and brought his fiance.  
(who made baby these adorable booties)
Ben left with the dads and kids--I guess 6 kids, 8 and under was better than a roomful of women and lots of pregnancy talk.  But we did get to visit a bit.

This is one of my favorite pics of the day.  
There were 5 pregnant women there.  
3 of us went through miscarriages at the same time last year and are all here, pregnant again.
God is so good.
2 of us have a picture together like this at my fist shower, and now we are both ready to give birth for the 4th time.
It's a lot of babies.
And that's a lot of happy.

One of my all time favorite artists is James Taylor.  
My mom, sister and I love him so much it borders on obsession. (we've seen him in concert 10 times)
And one of his songs, "Shower the People You Love With Love" expresses the way I try to live my life.
I want to show people I love them.  I want them to know I care about them.  I want them to know they are important to me.  
Call me lame to have a James Taylor song as one of my life mottos, but just listen to it--it's good stuff people!
I know.  Cause I was showered with love.

And it was really, really good.

I have much to be grateful for.

Love from,

Greta

PS.  Other songs that I'd like to be an expression of my life:

This one and this one.

What are yours?

87 Days to Go--Not That I'm Counting

I woke up this morning with the worst charlie horse I have ever had in my life.

My leg is still sore, right now, 17 hours later.

In fact, I would eat a banana before bed, but I am having my glucose test for diabetes in the morning, and I don't want to mess it up.

Besides, it would probably just make my acid reflux worse.

The acid reflux I have from the water I just drank.

Oh wait, am I complaining too much.

Sorry.

I wanted this kid to have some pictures of us together while he is still in there.
And since I am the only one who takes pictures around here, I had to take matters into my own hands.
Obviously I am not that good at it.
Oh well, someday I'll look at these pictures and say, "look how young I was."
And, "I wasn't even that big yet."

Certainly not big enough for people to say, "wow.  are you sure you're not having twins?"
If that comment gets made many more times, I may have to slap someone.
Or there was this one, made by an employee at Trader Joe's who hadn't seen me for a while, or me with all 3 kids in tow and giant belly joining the gang.
"Dang!  You're a machine!"
What kind of machine, exactly?
I didn't get mad because we're friends.
Besides, he's single and a guy and therefore clueless.

I am feeling huge.
But I looked back at this post where I said I felt huge and I look tiny compared to now.
That means in 87 days I am going to feel really huge.
And I will be huge and that is just the way it goes with me and babies.
All I can say is, praise God for nursing.  It's my miracle diet.

Aside from feeling huge, I am feeling better in other ways.
A bit less tired.
I am napping almost every day now and I don't feel a bit guilty about it.
The kids are really good about it.
Especially if I let them watch a video while I nap.
Which I do sometimes.
And I don't feel a bit guilty about it.


I'm also slowing down through the day.  I am staying on top of the laundry and chores and expecting the kids to help out more and it all makes for a less stressed out mommy.
I am not so tired out when I am home more.
I do not find it so hard to keep up with running my home when I do the work in the morning when I have energy.
It's good.  I'm learning.


I am still itching like crazy every night.
My test results for this came back negative.  
That was a big relief.
And while I am really happy about the news (one less chance for a c-section--yay!) I am still wondering why I am still itching like mad every night.
I am hoping and praying it goes away soon.
Thanks for your prayers, emails and phone calls about the test.  I felt loved and supported.
Now does anyone want to come over and rub my feet and scratch my legs?
Cause that would help a lot too.


Now I'm off to bed so I can rise early and drink bright orange sugar water and get my blood drawn.
Babies are wonderful.  And I love giving birth.
But pregnancy is not my favorite.
Just trying to keep it real.
Love from.
Greta


And yes, Aaron is now painting the inside of our door turquoise.  Because we are on a big time turquoise kick.  Check my other blog to see more.

Remembering This Moment: The Brothers Making Art

I haven't done one of these series in a while because, let's face it, I am quite behind on everything.

But there are too many sweet moments being lived out around here for me to keep missing out on remembering them.

That's what Remembering This Moment is all about.  Nothing especially thrilling or extraordinary--just the little moments that make up our everyday and that I want to remember for always.

What moment will you remember this week?

(to read more about why capturing these moments are so important to me, go here or here.  to read more from the series, look in the memory keeping category in the sidebar)

........................................................................................................

My boys love to draw.

LOVE.

They spend multiple hours at it every single day.

They draw in the car, while waiting with me at the dr.s, when I tell them to choose a quiet activity, or when I don't tell them to at all.

They start drawing as soon as they wake up in the morning.

I love to see them draw together.  They work side by side, encouraging each other, commenting on the other's drawings, sharing ideas and talking to each other the whole time.

It is their time and it gives me unspeakable amounts of joy to see them working together this way.

Many times I just stand quietly and watch from the door way, listening and soaking it in.

They sometimes draw at the kitchen table, at their art table in our school room/office, at the coffee table, on the floor of the living room, or their bedroom.  As long as they have a flat, hard surface to work at, they are completely happy.

It hasn't always been this way.  

While James has been drawing pictures happily since age 2, it has taken William longer to develop the hand-eye coordination required for drawing the kind of drawings that make him happy.

Just like his Daddy, James can see something once and re-create it with pretty incredible accuracy.  

He can also look at a picture and copy it with accuracy.

His art is not super neat.  He has never been one of those kids who wants to do it just like the example, or to color in the lines.  He has always done it his own way.
He isn't interested in making it look exactly like "real life", but somehow his drawings capture the feeling of the things he is drawing in a way that is enviable.

He already has his own style.

His Daddy loves that.

And James is very, very seldom unhappy with his drawings.  If he doesn't like it, he happily starts a new picture.  It's just not a big deal if 1 drawing out of the 30 he'll do in a day doesn't turn out right.

William, however, suffers for his art.

In the past year, he has finally reached a place where he can create drawings that are often to his liking,

But not always.

And that frustrates him to no end.

The idea he has in his head does not always translate onto the paper.

I can relate.  

That is how I felt every time I tried to draw something as a kid.

But William perseveres.  I didn't.

Often times, he'll crumple a paper and throw it across the room, and storm out, consumed with anger.

I seek him out, gently remind him that reacting that way won't help him get better, and suggest James help him with his drawing.

James does.

And William tries again.

And he just keeps getting better at it.

James is William's biggest fan. Without any prodding from me, he tells William what a great pirate ship he drew, or dinosaur.

And while William sometimes gets frustrated that all of James' drawings turn out so good, he can't stop admiring the work his big brother churns out.

Like I said, they really enjoy the hours they spend together every day creating masterpieces and mowing down the rain forest.  (I do make them draw on both sides.  unless it's a really good drawing that I want to save)

But of all the things they do as they draw, my favorite is to listen to them narrate their drawings.  These are usually the ones of pirate ships, castles under siege or fighter jets in the midst of mid-air missile attacks.

They talk through the sword fights, the pirates falling off the mast, the planes going down in flames and the castle catching on fire.  They add sound effects, and tell stories about the people or vehicles in the drawing.

In those moments, the drawing is alive to them.

And they are lost in their own world together.

I wonder sometimes how long it will last.  

I hope forever.

But who knows?

So for now, I just watch and listen, take pictures and store it all up in my heart.

I'm remembering this moment.

Love from,

Greta

Baseball Fever

James has played 3 baseball games now and it is safe to say he has baseball fever.

He loves it.

He's learning a lot--not just about the sport, but about handling disappointment with grace and good sportsmanship, encouraging others, being teachable, listening to and following directions and the importance of hustle.

He also really enjoys the treat bags they get at the end of each game.

And while I fully admit I am not the biggest fan of my afternoon routine getting interrupted for practices, I do love watching him learn so much and have so much fun.

The thumbs up and smiles he gives us after he gets a hit, or even the thumbs up he gives while fighting back tears he gives after he gets out, make it all worthwhile.

I'm more than a bit behind, but here are pictures of opening day and his first game.

Opening day festivities.
         

"Go Mariners!"

 After opening ceremonies, it was time for the first game.

Tucking his extra batting glove into his back pocket while his team took to the outfield.

Batting gloves were a must.

Talking shop with the guys.

His first at bat.  No tees.

Strike one.

Oh bliss!  

He got a hit and after sliding into first, (doesn't everyone do that?)

he made it round all the bases and slid into home.

He got a chance to play first base.

And he was ready to make the play.

But...the ball got away somehow.

Lilly and William like baseball games too.

But they like the snack bar part--not so much the game.

Mommy's big belly makes a perfect spot to relax and watch the action.

So comfy.  For some of us.

What excitement--they made it through the first game.

Jumping for joy!

Now William has decided he wants to play baseball next spring and Lilly wants to also.
But she wants a pink glove and hat.
Of course.
If this keeps up we'll be living at the ball field all spring.
I'm thinking about a sport they can all play together.
Swim team anyone?


Love from,
Greta