16 Weeks

We felt the baby kick this morning.  

All of us.

We were sitting around the kitchen table, eating breakfast, when I felt like there were firecrackers going off in my belly.

"The baby is kicking!" I yelled.

Aaron jumped up and put his hand on my belly.

"Can you feel that?" I asked with a smile a mile wide.

He could.

Then every one's hands were on my belly.

And we all felt this new life, already so loved and celebrated.

It was amazing.

This is the 4th time I have felt a baby moving in my belly.

But it never ceases to awe me.

I have been waiting for the kicks to be strong enough for everyone else to feel.

It was so much fun to share it with them.

I want to remember forever my 3 babes gathered around, hands on my stomach to feel their new sibling kicking at them.

I want to remember forever Aaron talking into my belly, saying, "I love you little baby," and the 3 of them following suit.

"Do you think it understands words already?" James wants to know.

All the sickness, the discomfort, the fatigue fades away in these moments and it is so worth it.

At 16 weeks, I already feel HUGE.
I feel huge with every pregnancy.
It isn't just a feeling--I am huge.
James was the only one I didn't show with right away.
I struggled with it at first, as if it were the olden days and I had to hide the fact that I was "in the family way."
When a friend saw me at 8 weeks and gasped, "wow! You're already showing!" I tried not to be bothered.
But then I realized: why?
Of course I am showing!  This is my 5th pregnancy.  And I was pregnant less than a year ago.
And, worse part, I have gained more weight in my first trimester with this pregnancy than I have with any other.
Like an embarrassing amount.
Like I would not have told my husband but he was with me and heard anyway.
Like I am not going to admit to you how much.
But I will say that 3 months of carbs and no exercise doesn't help with the weight gain.
I explained that to my Dr. and her response was, "you can start exercising now."
Ouch.

In many ways I have felt unable to fully enjoy this pregnancy.
Between all the distractions of the 3 big ones, the tiredness, the sickness and the emotional ups and downs I have been experiencing, I find whole days go by and I haven't even said a word to the baby.
Yes, I talk to the baby.
As often as I remember to.
Poor 4th child--neglected already.


So today was extra special.  
I will remember it always.
Sitting around our kitchen booth, sun streaming in the windows, soft boiled eggs and toast on the table, except for William who won't touch eggs, and all of us there, jumping up to experience this new person that is already a part of our family.
From the very start, babies are a miracle.


Love from,
Greta