Sunsets at the Beach

Summertime "to do" lists were big this year.

I saw them everywhere.  Like this one.

But we didn't make a list this year.

My hands are too full of baby to make a summertime to list.

I just made plans to do our usual summertime traditions, the OC Fair, VBS and a camping trip.

But not much else aside from that.

My whole goal for this summer was that we would be taking it slow.

We'd be getting to know our new baby.

Swimming in our back yard pool and eating lots and lots of popsicles.

And going to the beach as much as possible.

If I had made a list, beach time would pretty much be the whole of the list.

I wanted to see as many sunsets at the beach as I could.

We're doing pretty well so far.

We manage to make it at least twice a week.  Often times, more.  Week nights and weekends.

During the week, the kids and I arrive at the beach in the late afternoon.

They play happily with friends while I nurse the baby and make sure Lilly doesn't drift out to sea on the boogie board she insists upon riding.  (remember, "I AM a good swimmer!")

Aaron arrives after work, about 5:30.

There is still plenty of sunshine left and he dives right into the water with the kids.

They swim to the buoy or across the channel to Naples.

They paddle boogie boards and surf boards.

Practice cannon balls.

Build sand castles.

As the sun starts to sink, everyone gets hungry and we all eat the food I packed.

And I say, "we should probably start packing up now."
And they say, "can we just go in the water one more time?"
And they do.

And the sun sinks a little lower.

And I say, "we should probably start packing up now."
And they say, "can we just bury Lilly in the sand?"
And they do.

And then she has to wash off.
And play in the water with Daddy just a bit longer.

And the sun sinks lower.

And I say, "OK, we really need to pack up now."
And they say, "can we just build our sand castle a little longer?"
And they do.

And the sun sinks lower.

And lower.
And by now, everyone is tired and cold and starving.
Because it is almost dark and they ate all the food I packed.
And I say, "we're really packing up now.  For reals!"

And they say, "can we run on the beach one more time?"

And they do.

Sometimes we stop at The French Frie Shop (aka In and Out) on the way home, or Taco Surf.

Sometimes they just have to eat their pb and js.

Sometimes they take a shower or just rinse off in the pool.

My floors are always sandy.

No matter how many times I sweep.

They fall asleep hard and fast and still wake up tired the next day.

Most days they ask, "can we go to the beach today?"

And most days we do.

Even if we don't make it until right before sunset.

It doesn't matter--we can still check it off the list.

Hope you are enjoying what ever is on your summer list.

Love from,

Greta

Are You a Yes Mom?

Are you a YES Mom?

Or do you say NO more often?

Why?

Why do we do that?  

Why do I do that?

I don't want to be that kind of Mom.

I don't want to be that kind of person.

I'd much rather be this kind of person.

(anthony burrill)

In much of my life, I am a YES person.
But the mom part of me far too often goes the way of the NO. 
And yesterday morning it became clear to me that I don't want to do that anymore.
Let me explain.


On Friday, the kids got some gifts from Aaron's Aunt Tina.
She gives very thoughtful (and awesome!) gifts that are perfect for each person.  You can tell she enjoys finding just the right thing for everyone.  
One of Lilly's gifts was a pink and red, tin tea set. 
She loved it.
William was quite enamored with it too.
So much so that when he woke up on Saturday morning, early, the first thing he asked me was, "Mommy, can I make a tea party for Lilly with her new tea set?  I think she'd like to see it on the table when she wakes up."


Wow.  
What a sweet big brother.
Just the way you always hope your kids will act toward one another.


And you know what my response was?
"NO."
Seriously.
"It's too early William.  You can't eat chips this early and you're spilling water on the table and we haven't even had breakfast yet and you can just do it later."


And I heard myself saying these words but did not think about them at all.
It's like my mom autopilot turns on and I stop thinking, and I just start speaking nonsense.
He looked at me, disappointment on his face.
"Please, Mommy?"


And that is when I stopped and I realized how utterly ridiculous I was being.
How selfish.
How lazy.
And I asked myself, "really?  You are worried about a few tortilla chips before 8 am and some spilled water?  Really?  Does it even matter?"


Yes.  Yes it does matter.
It matters so very much.
To them.
Saying YES takes so little from me but it means so much to them.


So I said YES.
And Lilly was thrilled.
And William was thrilled.
And it was really wonderful to watch them have a tea party together.

He told her how he set it all up.

2 cups for her and 2 for him.  2 plates for her and 2 plates for him.

To which Lilly grinned hugely and said, "for me, Wee-um?"
Oh how she loves to be loved by her big brothers.

And then William poured tea. 

And they drank,

and toasted,

and enjoyed it all immensely.

 

 As did I.
I'm so glad I said YES.


I'm giving you a challenge this week.
It's the same challenge I gave myself.
Be a YES mom.
Or be a YES person.


Do you find yourself saying "NO, we can't" because:
it's too close to dinner
it's too hot
you're too tired
it's too messy
i don't know how
it's too hard
it's not going to work
i don't have time
you're not old enough
i'm too old
i've never tried
it's not the right time
or whatever reason it is that makes it easier to say NO than YES?


If you've been saying NO, there's so much you've been missing.
Try it out and 
see if you like saying YES! to life instead of no.


Love from,
Greta


SAY YES POSTER: The SAY YES MORE THAN NO poster is by the artist, Anthony Burrill. His website is here and I strongly suggest you go over and take a look around.  You will be sure to find some things you like.  Don't say NO.  Say YES! and go have some fun!

5 Weeks In Love

Have you ever looked at someone and thought, "I love him so much it hurts?"

I feel that way with him every day.
All day.
Even when he's fussy and needs to be held and held and all around me chaos ensues.
I am so in love with this boy.

I remember the first time I felt that way about Aaron.
We were still dating.
Sitting in a bookstore in Del Mar, I looked at him across from me.
He was in front of a window with sunlight shining down on him, absorbed in some book.
Without warning, tears filled my eyes and I caught my breath.
I knew I could not live without him.
It was an overwhelming feeling.

Love is like that.
If fills you so full that sometimes you ache with it.

Right now I know nothing better than to feel the weight of my boy falling asleep on my chest.

His body grows heavier as his sleep does.

He breaths rapidly; those short, quick breaths and I feel his heart speed up.

His eyelids flutter.

And then he sighs.  

Asleep again.

And I am loathe to put him down.

But sometimes I do, just so that I can admire him.
And take one hundred pictures in a few minutes because I want to remember him just like this.
I want to revel in his chubby cheeks and big nose.
The rolls on his arms and the way he sucks his bottom lip in when he sleeps.
I want to soak him up.
I can't get enough.

He's already been with us 5 weeks.  
Almost 6, really.
We're all in love with him.
I can't keep his brothers and sisters away from him.
They're sure he's talking to them.  Almost saying words.
He watches them with wide eyes in those moments when he's awake.
Moments that are still far and few between but more now than before.


What joy he brings us all when he shows us his dimple and his smile.
There might be nothing better.
That first time he focused on my face and that sweet smile lit up his face I cried with the wonder of it.
I caught my breath.
It was an overwhelming feeling.


How glad I am for that moment in the bookstore so long ago that brought me to this moment.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11


I'm so glad you're here, Davy.
Love from,
Mommy 

Ice Cream Man

Sometimes you just need a treat from the ice cream man.

Like when you've been stuck at home for 3 days with a summer cold.
And you want very badly to go to the beach because it is hot.
And you've played with all your toys and are growing tired of laying on the floor listening to your mom read you books.
You need a distraction.
You need a Bomb Pop.

We seldom buy ice cream from the ice cream man.
It's been over a year.
He still slows waaaay down every time he drives by our house in hopes that my kids will come tumbling out the door.
Well, today I made everyones' dreams come true.
"Do you guys want to get ice cream?" I asked them in the middle of the story I was reading to them.
They leaped off the floor and ran to their room for pants.  
(of course they're in their underwear.  it's hot and they're sick.)


My favorite thing about letting them get ice cream from the ice cream man is how each one chooses an ice cream that matches their personality perfectly.
William chooses the Sponge Bob pop because his Nana loves Sponge Bob.
"I want to get one of these for Nana sometime," he said.

James chose the biggest popsicle on the menu.

And Lilly chose the pinkest.

I'm hoping that all this rest, the early bed times and the extra sugar they got today (feed a cold, right?) will make them well soon.
Because I'm ready for the beach too.
3 days of summer sickness feels like an eternity.
And I'm really hoping Davy doesn't get his first cold.
But I'm afraid there might be no escape for the poor baby.
I guess that's life when you are #4.


Now I'm off to bed because I am pretty sure this will be a long night.
For all of us.
Love from,
Greta

They Just Want to be With Me

Hello friends.

I'm back at it after a longer than anticipated hiatus.

We did get a fabulous new computer and I have been trying to find a spare minute now and then to learn my way around it, waiting for new software and learning it too, trying to make my camera work with the new computer but mostly not having much time for any of it and being OK with that.

This is a season.

But I have missed writing.

If I don't write every day it feels like something is missing.

After a while, I long for it.

Also, so many of the things that happen here every day, little and big, I want to remember.  

I miss writing those moments.

Hopefully I will continue to find my new normal as a mommy to 4 and be here more often.

Now, here's a little taste of where I'm at right now.

..........................................................................................................

Davy's been here for 5 weeks, and I have to say, it's been the easiest first 5 weeks ever.

Maybe it's just because I finally know what I am doing with a newborn.

I think I've hit my stride with #4.

It all just feels very natural and easy with him.  

Nothing much phases me.

With him.

It's meeting the needs of the other 3 plus Davy that sometimes, often times, throws me for a loop.

I won't lie.

It's hard.

It seems like every time I sit down to nurse the baby, someone needs me to wipe their bottom.

Or every time I sit down to nurse the baby and read someone a book, someone needs a snack.

Or every time I sit down to finally eat my breakfast, lunch or grab a bite of something, anything, someone says, "can I have a bite of that?"

"Can you get down our race track, Mommy?"

"Can you play Crazy Eights with us, Mommy?"

"Can you make Lilly stop drawing on my paper, Mommy?"

"Davy smells stinky."

"I'm stuck in the tree!"

"Davy has spit up."

"Can you read to me?"

And sometimes, I just want to say no.

Because I want some personal space.

I don't mind crowds.  I don't get claustrophobic.  I don't need an extra seat between me and someone else at the movies.

But those things only last for a time.  

After a while, I like some space.

That's understandable right?

But I am realizing that my need for personal space and their need to be near me are at odds right now.

They want to be near me.

They long to be.

And when I push them away, it hurts.

One afternoon last week I was sitting on the couch nursing the baby.

It was the end of the day.

It was hot.  

I was sweaty and tired.

James came and sat down next to me, leaned his hot, heavy body against me, and stayed.

All I could think of at that moment was that I wanted space.

I NEEDED it.

I had a baby attached to me, sucking on me, for heaven's sake!

That was more than enough.

So I said in the nicest voice I could muster, "sweetie, could you not lean on me right now?  It's so hot and I'm sweaty and the baby is sweaty and you're sweaty."

He moved.

But as he turned away from me I saw the hurt in his eyes.

And in that moment, I knew I was the most selfish of mothers.

He needed me more right then than I needed my personal space.

How many other times have I done that and been completely unaware of how much I have hurt him?  Or the others?

Who knows what door he was trying to open that I had just shut in his face.

I often feel so justified in my need for space, for time, for "just 5 minutes".

But at what cost?

It is not easy to overcome selfishness.

When Davy is, again, attached to my breast, when there is a boy on each side of me, leaning hot, sticky bodies against me, when a girl climbs under my legs and over them, all while I read a book aloud to them, I sometimes feel my skin crawl.

I know.

I feel ashamed admitting it, but it's true.

I'd like to ask them if they could just sit in the chairs across from me, if Lilly could get the heck off my legs and if they could at least wait until Davy is done nursing.

But instead, I am trying to remember that they crave closeness right now.

They need me.

And I want them to remember me pulling them close, not pushing them away.

But it's not easy, this dying to self.

This weekend I was hot and sweaty after yard work and washing the car.  
The kids were already in the pool when I came out in my bathing suit to join them.
"Are you going in the pool with us Mommy?" cried 3 voices almost in unison.
"Yes I am!"
They cheered.
You would have thought I said I was taking them to Disneyland.


Here's something else that's shameful to admit.
Far too often I use that time that they are happily playing to get something done.
Clean the bathroom, make a phone call, load the dishwasher, sweep, or some other task that I deem more important than time spent with them.
How much fun we had in that pool.
So much so they asked me again today, "are you coming swimming with us today, Mommy?"
"Yes I am!"
And not after I fold the laundry.
Right now.
They just want to be with me.


Love from,
Greta


"For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command:

love your neighbor as yourself."  

Galatians 5:14

MIA

 I've been MIA.

We had a power outage at our house last Sat night. 

Afterwards, our computer, our very old computer, would not turn on.

Aaron told me to try not to act so sad.

I fully admit to really, really, really wanting a new computer.  But I do not nag about it.

Or cajole.

Or pester.

I just hope and wait.

For a power outage, apparently.

I have not asked once when we are heading to the Apple store to get a new computer.

I did ask if he could find out about getting our old computer fixed.

Yes, I am that good of a wife.

But I know fixing that dinosaur is probably not going to happen.

(Trying not to be sad.)

So, until we get down to that Apple store, there will not be much, or any, blogging happening.

I miss it.

Right now I am using my parent's computer.

I am down at their house waiting for one of my oldest and dearest friends to have her baby.

She's in labor right now!

I am nursing Davy at my Mom and Dad's before I head back to the hospital to be there when her baby is born.

I can't wait.

And I'll probably walk out of there thinking insane thoughts about having another baby myself.

Because seeing a baby be born does that to me.

It's amazing.

So, that's the update.

I'll be back here.  Eventually.

And I am looking forward to it.

After all, I have a 3 year old birthday girl post to write, 1 month old (sigh. really?  already?) baby pictures to post and just so much more to write about.

Check back in, OK?

Love from,

Greta

Moo

I'm feeling a bit bovine these days.

There are 2 reasons for this.


Reason #1:  My body feels as big as a cow.
Not that I am doing anything about it, mind you. 
In fact, about the only thing I want to eat is coffee and chocolate.
If I could switch out that chocolate for cigarettes, all my problems would be solved, right?
Well, maybe not.
Intellectually I know that I just had a baby 3 weeks ago and my stomach was swollen beyond recognition and still is.
But when yet another person says to me, "when are you due?" it makes me feel a little crazy.
Like I want to say, "hey MORON, you see that newborn baby in my husband's arms, standing RIGHT THERE NEXT TO ME?  He was born 2 weeks ago.  DUH."
Instead, I smile nicely and say, "actually, I just had a baby 2 weeks ago."
This happened last Sunday at church. It wasn't the first time.
And then I just want to pound another chocolate cupcake, washed down by an iced latte.
I suppose I should go for a walk instead.


It's always like this.  But it doesn't mean it gets any easier.
I think I am handling it better this time around though.
I know it is what it is and in time I will get back to normal.
After all, I am slowly getting out of maternity pants.
I am now squeezing into those clothes I have in the box labeled, "NOT PREGNANT.  STILL FAT."
You have to have a sense of humor about these things.




Reason # 2: Davy's been on the every 2 hour eating plan for the past couple of days and nights.

It's bad enough during the day. 
Hard to get much done when I'm sitting on the couch every 1.5 hours .  (it's every 2 hours from when you start the feeding, in case you were not aware of that fun fact)
But at night, it's utterly brutal.
I shouldn't complain.
It's our first spell of this with him.
Until now it's been 3, 4 or even 5 hours between feedings.  
And I never have had a baby that wants to eat every 2 hours for any length of time.
I am sure he's having a growth spurt.
But still.
I can hardly think straight after 2 nights of seemingly constant nursing.
So, yeah, feeling like a mama cow right about now.


Thankfully it is the weekend, and a long one at that.
Aaron is home and taking care of the kids while I nurse away.
The kids are splashing happily in the biggest blow up pool we could find.
I am getting a moment of baby not attached to me time to type out some drivel, since I can't formulate thoughts deep enough for the post I really want to write: Lilly's 3rd birthday letter.
Maybe tomorrow.


But for now, I will finally take a shower, and then I think we're heading to the beach.
Because it's hot, and it's 4th of July weekend.
And the beach is always fun.
And I apologize in advance for those of you who might see me on the beach looking rather cowish: nursing my baby and filling out last summer's swimsuit a bit too much.
That''s life on the farm right now.
Oh the joys of postpartum.  
One of my favorite readers, Pam, explained it so perfectly: 
"it is the best of times and the worst of times."
So, so true Pam.  




Happy 4th to you all.
Hope it's wonderful!
Love from,
Greta