Monday, July 25, 2011

Are You a Yes Mom?

Are you a YES Mom?
Or do you say NO more often?
Why do we do that?  
Why do I do that?
I don't want to be that kind of Mom.
I don't want to be that kind of person.
I'd much rather be this kind of person.

In much of my life, I am a YES person.
But the mom part of me far too often goes the way of the NO. 
And yesterday morning it became clear to me that I don't want to do that anymore.
Let me explain.

On Friday, the kids got some gifts from Aaron's Aunt Tina.
She gives very thoughtful (and awesome!) gifts that are perfect for each person.  You can tell she enjoys finding just the right thing for everyone.  
One of Lilly's gifts was a pink and red, tin tea set. 
She loved it.
William was quite enamored with it too.
So much so that when he woke up on Saturday morning, early, the first thing he asked me was, "Mommy, can I make a tea party for Lilly with her new tea set?  I think she'd like to see it on the table when she wakes up."

What a sweet big brother.
Just the way you always hope your kids will act toward one another.

And you know what my response was?
"It's too early William.  You can't eat chips this early and you're spilling water on the table and we haven't even had breakfast yet and you can just do it later."

And I heard myself saying these words but did not think about them at all.
It's like my mom autopilot turns on and I stop thinking, and I just start speaking nonsense.
He looked at me, disappointment on his face.
"Please, Mommy?"

And that is when I stopped and I realized how utterly ridiculous I was being.
How selfish.
How lazy.
And I asked myself, "really?  You are worried about a few tortilla chips before 8 am and some spilled water?  Really?  Does it even matter?"

Yes.  Yes it does matter.
It matters so very much.
To them.
Saying YES takes so little from me but it means so much to them.

So I said YES.
And Lilly was thrilled.
And William was thrilled.
And it was really wonderful to watch them have a tea party together.

He told her how he set it all up.

2 cups for her and 2 for him.  2 plates for her and 2 plates for him.

To which Lilly grinned hugely and said, "for me, Wee-um?"
Oh how she loves to be loved by her big brothers.

And then William poured tea. 

And they drank,

and toasted,

and enjoyed it all immensely.

 As did I.
I'm so glad I said YES.

I'm giving you a challenge this week.
It's the same challenge I gave myself.
Be a YES mom.
Or be a YES person.

Do you find yourself saying "NO, we can't" because:
it's too close to dinner
it's too hot
you're too tired
it's too messy
i don't know how
it's too hard
it's not going to work
i don't have time
you're not old enough
i'm too old
i've never tried
it's not the right time
or whatever reason it is that makes it easier to say NO than YES?

If you've been saying NO, there's so much you've been missing.
Try it out and 
see if you like saying YES! to life instead of no.

Love from,

SAY YES POSTER: The SAY YES MORE THAN NO poster is by the artist, Anthony Burrill. His website is here and I strongly suggest you go over and take a look around.  You will be sure to find some things you like.  Don't say NO.  Say YES! and go have some fun!


JDaniel4's Mom said...

I am so glad you said yes! I loved getting to see the party.

Debbie said...

Love this post :) They are so cute - what sweet pictures, and what a precious big brother thing to do.

I do hope that I'm more of a yes mom - it could quite possibly be that I'm just to exhausted to deal with the no response for something they really want to do that really isn't a big deal, lol (preggers w/#3). My patio door (on the inside of the house) is covered with sidewalk chalk "artwork" right now. Oh well. They had fun. It'll wash off.

jessicaclarke said...

This is something I've already been trying to work on, and you just motivated to try harder. I am a former Montessori teacher and I remember learning how important it is not to constantly use the word no, but now I find with my own children I say it too often.

Lisa said...

the older I get, the more I say YES!! The whoop of pure joy when Pnut hears "yes" is worth whatever disturbance it might cause in my world.

Betsi* said...

I so needed this wake up call. I have totally been flying on auto pilot when it comes to saying no. Thanks!

katie said...

Love this. Is it just me or has Lilly suddenly turned into a little girl over night? She has no baby left! I probably should not say that with you new mama hormones probably making you feel weepy as is, but I was thrown for a loop. Anyway, thanks for writing this. I'm a "no" mom.

Mrs. Haid said...

I am happy you said yes so you could take those fab photos to share and encourage me. I have a 3 month old an 2 year old, and thus I am so excited to see little things like this in my future.

jessie said...

such a great post -- a wonderful reminder for me as the too tired/complicated/not allowing me to sit down things get a lot of no's.. and i love the pictures of the tea party! :)

Anonymous said...

I love this post! So sweet. And I'm thankful you were able to capture pictures of this precious brother-sister tea party. My mom lots to retell about the time she caught my big brother reading books to me for the first time when he was 5 years old and I was newborn. I would love to have a picture to go along with it.

Bethany said...

Thank you for posting this. Life has been stressful lately and this is what I needed today! It moved me to tears to see how sweet your kids were with each other and what a missed opportunity it would have been if you had said "no". How many opportunities do we miss each day when we automatically say "no"?

hannah singer said...

yes, greta! hooray for this post!
i have been practicing "yes" more often, especially at home. these earthly days are but a breath. i don't want any sweet moments to be lost to no. cheers! to saying yes for the little things that mean so very much.

love you, sweet friend.

Stacey said...

That is the cutest thing I have ever seen. So sweet! I am motivated to yes more to my little one now.

Pam... said...

Will you be MY mommy?

Seriously Greta, my darling little sis. You will be an author one day. You will. And illustrate the book(s) with your own photos. Mommy books. And when that happens, don't forget me. Don't forget that I loved you and knew you would be great before everyone else. Deal?

Ps. I am so glad your season of grief has lifted and you are full of hope. Glad you walked through it though; only because now you can give that compassion in which you yourself received to encourage others. God bless.