Wednesday, June 30, 2010

On Her Birth Day

When you have 2 boys and are pregnant with your 3rd child, everyone tells you they hope it's a girl.
Everyone.
Throughout the course of my pregnancy, I might have met 4 people who told me they hoped I had another boy.  They were all moms of 3 or more boys.  
I think it was solidarity.
And to be honest, all those comments began to get on my nerves.  Especially since most people would tell me they hoped I had a girl while my 2 boys were standing right there.  Didn't anyone notice that?
Didn't anyone think that I adored my 2 boys beyond measure and the thought of adding to my pack wasn't terrible at all.
I was more than ready for it.  I kind of wanted it.  I would have been proud
There is a certain status that comes with being a mom of 3 boys.
But God had other plans.

We arrived at the hospital, 9 days before my due date.  I was a unique case: sex of baby unknown, VBAC, no drugs and I wanted a roomful of ladies with me.
I had the loveliest nurse, Veronica, and she was gracious and encouraging and told me I could have anybody I wanted but just give her the word and she'd kick them all out.
They stayed.
It was a much easier labor than my first.  I smiled and chatted through a lot of it.  And after a while I grew so tired, I'd sleep between contractions.  It felt like many, many minutes passed between each one, but it was only 1 or 2.
The room grew dark and quiet.  I knew my ladies were praying for me.
Mom, big sister Kristen, labor coach extraordinaire Cathy, mother in law Mary, sister in law Jessica and my sweet husband, alone with all those ladies.
Then they broke my water and Cathy said, "it's going to get really intense now."
She was right.
In 20 minutes, I went from 6 to my baby being born.
And for a minute or 2, I thought I might die.
I remember looking at Aaron, unable to speak, but there was fear in my eyes.  I could feel it.  
It was the most intense pain I had ever experienced.

But in this instant, it was all forgotten. 

Out came that baby, big like her brothers, and no one said what we had.
"What is it?" I cried.
"It's a girl!!!" said Dr. Nguyen.
The room erupted in screams.  Even the nurses.
There was jumping.  Crying.  laughing.
And more joy than you could ever know.
It might have been the most powerful moment I have ever experienced.

And, Lilly, my darling little girl, I had no idea how much I wanted you until that very minute.
It was perfect.  It was meant to be.




And everyone was talking at once and the nurses called you "Porkchop" because you were so chubby, and we laughed and cried more and just admired you.  Everyone held you and laughed and cried again.
It was magic, Lilly.
Your arrival was so celebrated.  
I wanted to call everyone I knew, to shout it from the rooftops, but it was 4 in the morning.
I waited until 7.
They took us upstairs and we were left alone.  They left us to find food or sleep.  
But I couldn't sleep.  I was wide awake, just soaking in my girl.
And I couldn't believe it was true.
I had a girl.  I had a daughter.
I was so in love.




Dziadzi brought your brothers to see you a bit later.  James was excited, William hesitant.
They called you Little, Little, Little Little, Little, Little Lillian.
They loved you.


And Daddy loved you.  His little girl.  You had him wrapped around your finger from the very start.  And you still do.  Even more.  You two are inseparable.

A few days later, we put a pink bow in your hair and took you home.
We put you down, in the midst of tractors, trains and big brothers,
of books and stories on the couch

and going out to celebrate your first holiday, the 4th of July, when you were only 4 days old.
You fit right in Miss Lilly.

You are the perfect little sister to 2 big brothers.
The mellowest baby who loved them so much.
And still you do, but you aren't afraid to show them whose boss, to call them, "princess" and make them fighting mad.
To do whatever they do, even though you're littler and a girl.
It doesn't matter and I don't think it ever will.

You are so strong Lill.  I thought I'd have my work cut out for me being a mom of 3 boys.  But you, my dear, dear daughter, have much more to teach me.
I am still a little afraid sometimes.  Because Lilly, you are a stallion.
But I love that about you dear one.  I know being your Mama is going to be an adventure.
And I am grateful beyond measure for this day. Your birth day. 
The day my life changed again.

Happy Birthday to my sweet and spicy Lillian Catherine!
My love for you knows no bounds.
Love from,
Mommy

Like this one?  read another here.  And another here.

6 comments:

Mary VG said...

why do you always make me go cry cry!! What a beautiful witness to a a beautiful girl. HAPPY BDAY LILLY!

j e n n i f e r said...

so not fair to present this now... i am a blubbering mess. seriously. emotional. and sick. and weak. with no energy. and now, i just broke down. i love you g girl. it is just a beautiful, precious piece.

Rachel said...

I'm a new reader (my friend Nicole told me I'd love your blog, and I do) and this post made me cry too! Beautiful little girl. I just had a girl and I have a 2 year old boy. I was ready for a pack of boys myself, but I am loving having a little girl. You don't need to reply, but if you want to, rachel.ashcraft@gmail.com. Looking forward to enjoying your blog in the future as well!

Erin McDonald said...

Is that your way of making me a name ske too?? Wild horse, Stalion what is the difference? I hope so!
I am so glad too this world needs a little more spice! we horse girls keep this world turning and the inocent by standers on their toes!
I love you greta and I love you too Lillian, Happy Birthday!
I am sorry I couldn't be ther on your accual birthday:(

PM said...

Why did I not figure out that you named her for your mother? Lovely Lilian and lovely Lilli. You make my heart happy.

Lillian Simon Wujek said...

It is 2013 , and Lilly Turned 5 today. She is awesome and precious. I have tears streaming down face as I read your remembered special memory. I am so thankful to have you as my daughter. You have taught me so much, speaking of stallions!! How blessed Lilly is to have you as her mother. You are just what every girl needs. I love you both so very much!i