The night before William was to be born, Aaron and I put James to bed and I felt like a traitor.
As much as I wanted to meet this new baby taking up all the room in my belly, I just could not see my way past the fact that we were bringing in a stranger to our perfect little 3some.
I didn't know if my heart could hold any more love.
We arrived at the hospital early the next morning and I was prepped for surgery. It was a scheduled c-section because the baby was breech and would not turn.
We tried. But he was stubborn--even in the womb.
When they gave me the epidural and tied my arms down, it was hard not to get nervous. This was so different from last time.
The tugging began, and my doctor said the baby was really wedged in there.
And then, we heard a cry, and someone told Aaron to look up.
"He yelled, "It's a boy!"
And I laughed and laughed from the complete and utter joy that filled my heart the moment I heard those words.I hadn't even met him yet and I was already in love.
2 boys. Brothers.
It was just what I wanted.
All those worries about the room in my heart for one more were gone.
There was room.
There was room for him, my sweet, sweet second born.
And what I loved most about doing it again was the serenity I felt. I could enjoy him so fully because I wasn't afraid. We were comfortable together. We knew just what to do.
I was meant to be his Mommy.
There was room in my heart for 1 more.
That night we sat on the floor together and sang to William.
"Our house, is a very, very fine house,
With 2 kids in the yard,
Life used to be so hard
Now everything is easy cause of you."
I never knew there could be such joy as there was in watching my 2 children love one another.
Oh yes, there was enough love in my heart for one more.
Now my heart was overflowing.
William, the day you were born you made our family fuller and richer and sweeter than it had been before. You still fill my heart everyday.
I am forever grateful for that day you came into our world.
I love you my Sweet William.
I love you forever.
Happy 4th birthday.