Friday, December 2, 2011

Home Schooling Right Now: Of Butterflies and Poetry

Does Butterflies and Poetry sound too much like Unicorns and Rainbows?

I don't want to make anyone gag.
But there are moments of Butterflies and Poetry in my home schooling life.
And those moments get me through the other moments.

There are the other moments, you know.
Because schooling at home is a mixed bag.
For me, the schooling part of it is truly wonderful.
I love teaching.
Always have.
And teaching my kids, exactly the way I feel is best for them--well, that's just downright perfection.
It's the fitting in of the schooling with the other parts of my life that I find challenging.
And sometimes exhausting, overwhelming, or impossible.

Yesterday, for example, the house was thrashed when Aaron came home from work.
I like to have the house clean and dinner ready when he gets home.
It feels like a good start to our night.
He doesn't expect that--it's all me.
But like I told him, sometimes I can't do it all.
Schooling, taking the kids out for a hike and art, cleaning the house, getting them bathed and a dinner on the table that didn't come out of a frozen pizza box is sometimes too much for me in one day.
It is hard to find a balance.
There is a lot I have to do.
And a lot I want to do.
I struggle with it every day.

Occasionally there is a day when schooling goes great and we get it all done. 
The house is sparkly. 
I have a healthy and delicious dinner on the stove, and the table is set.
I did my personal devotions and didn't get mad at the kids all day.
I'm showered and not wearing baggy, stretched out yoga pants when Aaron walks in the door at 6.
Those days, I feel AWESOME!
Like this.  (watch it--you'll appreciate the laugh--and I deserve a raise too, because I'm awesome)

But most days, there are just moments of awesome and a whole lot of more of not awesome.
Which is actually for the best, because it is in the not awesome moments that I realize how much I can't do this on my own.
When I think I can, I get prideful.
Pride is one of my stumbling blocks.
I need to remember the truth of this verse:
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast." Ephesians 2:8-9
Pride makes me think I don't need God.
And I do.
Oh yes I do.
That is why the hard moments are good.
As much as I don't like them.
As much as I hate them.
The hard moments soften my heart and bring me back to the place where I realize my own weakness and then ask for help.
I need help.
Oh yes I do.

And those hard moments make the beautiful ones that much more precious.
Like the other day when this monarch butterfly landed on the milkweed plant in our yard.
We watched it for a long time.
Though we were standing right next to the plant, the butterfly didn't even notice us.
She fluttered around, seeming almost drunk on the nectar, flying right past our heads, hands and faces.
We watched her drink.
It was beautiful.

"Guys", I said, "this is one of the butterflies favorite plants, the milkweed.  That's why she loves it so much."
"Milkweed!" exclaimed James.  "Just like our poem!  In dusty pods the milkweed, its hidden silk has spun."
Yes, James, just like our poem.

It was just a little thing.
A poem remembered.
A connection made.
Science and literature colliding.
Watching his world get a little bit bigger.
But to me, it was a sweet reminder of all the little moments of beauty that fill my day.
Moments that have nothing to do with me and what I've gotten done or not gotten done..
These moments are a gift of God.

Hoping your weekend is full of many beautiful moments and that you remember Who they come from.
Especially now, as we celebrate the greatest gift of all!
Happy Christmas, friends.
Love from,


Betsi* said...

Love this and love you!

Katie @ minivan diva said...

This is simply beautiful.

hannah singer said...

oh, how i love this beautiful post.
and rainbows and unicorns make me happy, too. :)

c. griffith said...

Just what I needed. Thanks. Seriously. :)