Friday, June 3, 2011

Slowing Down

It's been a little quiet around here.
I needed a break.  
Sick kids.  Tired beyond all reason.  Insane cleaning of the house before I fall asleep because, what if I go into labor with dirty laundry or dishes in the sink?  
And also because I am trying to slow down a bit and savor these days.
I am making some memories while this baby still inside my belly.
Take a look.

Because I have no shame, 
or no pride, 
or simply because I know someday I will want to look back and remember this:

My belly.
My belly with a big ol baby in it.  
It's huge.  
Way bigger than that watermelon.
Like so big that people stare.  They try to act like they aren't.  But totally are.
Aaron and I were out on a date a couple of weeks ago and as we walked down the street, I asked Aaron, 
"do you notice how everyone stares at me?"
"Well, I didn't want to say anything....... but yes.  They all are."
What can I say?  
I have reached the point of pregnancy where you can't help but stare.
It's amazing what the human body can do.
And mostly, I am horrifically uncomfortable.
But as the day draws near, I am beginning to feel like there is something about all this that I will miss.

Like this:

My sweet girl cuddling with the belly.
The way she lifts my shirt to kiss the belly.
Or the way she talks into my belly button. Because, of course, that is where baby listens.
I will miss James asking me, "are you feeling OK, Mommy?"
And William's thrilled grin when the baby kicks his hand.
I love the way the baby belongs to all of us.

I'll miss this view:  

There is always this round ball in the way.
But I kind of love it in the way.  (except for when I am trying to get up or down.  Or roll to the side.  Or walk.  Or move fast.  Yeah.  It is also kind of a pain)

Partly because I've had to, (sick kids, crazy tired, sore and uncomfortable) and partly because I want to, I have been making an effort to slow down.
Last week we had 2 days in a row of slow, do nothing in particular, never even leave our house kind of days.
It was magic.
I spent lots of time giving extra cuddles--even though elbows, knees and heads against my belly is really, very uncomfortable.
I suffered for their sake.
We read lots and lots of extra books.
We ate that watermelon.
We made popcorn and spread out sleeping bags under the tree and ate our popcorn by the handful.

And as I sat there, looking at those 3 blond heads, I realized afresh how much I love them.

They are mine.
Right now, they are all mine.
And I let so many days pass where I don't slow down and savor them nearly enough.
I'm a stay at home mom. 
A stay at home, home schooling mom.
My kids are with me almost ALL THE TIME.
And sometimes, I forget that I need to be intentional about the time I spend with them.
Just because I am always here and they are too, doesn't mean that we are sharing quality time.
It doesn't mean that I am watching them show me their skills on the swing.

Or their tree climbing prowess.

All too often, it means I am washing dishes, or getting laundry done or saying, "Just one minute, please!" in that fake, "I'm not irritated at all" voice.
You know the one.
Your mom used it with you.
And so, I savored those days.
And I determined to make more days like that.
Because, just as our days as a 4-some are coming to a close, and soon the belly will be gone (well, I wish it would be gone, more like, not quite as huge but instead turned to a flabby bit of grossness.  but I digress)
so will these days of quiet, do nothing of any particular consequence except being together.
The days when Mommy's hugs are the best medicine, where they cry, "look Mommy!" because they still want to share it all with me, where reading countless books and eating popcorn on the grass are a big treat, these days of them being little kids, are passing quickly.

So while we anxiously wait to find out whether baby will wear pink or blue

I am trying to slow down and enjoy the now.
It is not easy for me.  I am, and always have been, a look ahead kind of person.
And if there has ever been a time for looking ahead, the time is now.
But I'll keep at it.

Love from,

And, just so you don't think I am romanticizing too much, take a look at the last post to see what happened during one of those long, quiet days while William and I took a nap together.  
And this week?
Well, I considered military school for William because he has been driving me mad.
That's when I know I need to slow down.  
I get crazy.  One, or all of them, get crazy.  
And the simple act of reading together, laying down under the tree together and letting them talk to me about anything and everything, making cookies, or going for a walk makes all the difference in world.
It's like getting off the freeway and taking the scenic route.
It takes longer to get there, but the ride is so much better.


Betsi* said...

Lovin that gorgeous belly! And the sweet, little boy face peeking out beside it! Yay! for taking it slow! Feeling the anticipation of meeting this precious bundle!

Pam... said...

Awesome. Completely awesome boy peeking, and belly, and belly shots!, and kid shots, and post, and honesty, and baby outfits.
You are so funny too! I know it's really really hard at the end. I should know, right? More than most anyone in the world!! You are doing the right thing...laughing vs. going insane, cherishing vs. running to the doctor and demanding the baby out!! Our hero, Greta.

ps. People are staring because they are captivated by your intense beauty!! They think you are a movie star. So get out the big dark glasses and ham it up! Pam

Lillian said...

Bravo my girl! My heart is soaring.

Amanda said...

I love this post! Hang it there...

Terrie said...

Beautiful! And they are staring at that big beautiful smile of yours. Almost time, how exciting!

Lindsey Lea B said...

Beautiful belly! SImply loved this post! :) Have a great weekend! hOpe it brings many more moments under a big tree with a watermelon!