2 Weeks

Last night as I was giving Davy his midnight snack, I looked down at my sweet little boy and thought, "2 weeks ago right now, I was in labor with you.  I didn't know who you were.  I didn't know how much more beautiful the world would be with you in it."

It has been an amazing 2 weeks with him.

How can I be so fully in love with this tiny person who has only been with us for such a short time?

Babies are a miracle.

He sleeps a lot.  A whole lot.
That is fine with me.  I know it won't last.
When he's awake, or asleep, he loves to be held.
That is fine with me.  I know it won't last.

The other night, I was laying on the couch with Davy sleeping on my chest and I told Aaron how different it was this time.
"I just want to lie with him like this for as long as I can."
It is my favorite place to be.
Our favorite place.
I feel so much more peace (most of the time) about letting things go and just holding my baby.
By now I know, I really understand,  how fleeting this all is.
And I want to cherish every moment.
Aaron smiled at me and said, "that boy is going to be S.P.O.I.L.E.D."
"I am terribly afraid you are right," I smiled back.

When I had James, I was so intent on getting him on the perfect schedule, getting him to sleep on his own, making our lives, just so, you know, perfect, that I missed out on a lot of the quiet moments you have with a newborn.

I didn't know then what I know now.

Granted, James is now my best sleeper.  

But I just don't want to be that intense anymore.

I want to stress less about schedules and simply enjoy these days with my little Davy boy.

Besides, I know soon enough we will be back to a regular routine, working around nap times, and busier days.

It feels good to slow down for now.

I don't do that enough. 

Thus far, that is one of my favorite things about doing this the 4th time.

I have finally learned to relax.

A weeks worth of bilirubin tests?  No big deal--I am sure it will be fine. (it is)

No poop for 4 days?  I've had other newborns go 10--I'm not worried. (he pooped)

Baby just wants to be held right now?  That's fine.  I'll hold him. (i do--a lot)

We'll all sit on the couch together, read books and hold the baby.

It isn't going to last forever.

I am thankful it is summer time and I am allowing myself the freedom to take things slow.

It will be harder next week when Aaron is back at work.

I am trying not to think about that yet because it makes me want to cry.  

Not because I am scared of being here alone with them, but simply because I will miss him.

But I am praying that I will have the strength to maintain this peaceful spirit even when it is just me and the 4 of them.

When they are all clamoring for my attention and all needing me for something and everything.

I'll have to remind myself, "it isn't going to last forever."

I know it doesn't because these first 2 weeks with Davy have flown by.

So right now I will revel in his big hands always trying to find his mouth.

His dimple he shows us when he smiles in his sleep.

Those sounds he makes when he eats, the swallows and gulps, and the way the milk drips out of his mouth when he's done.

Those baby sighs he makes when he's happy.

His soft, soft skin.

His baby smell.

I just love it all.

I am thankful for every moment with him.

He has made our life infinitely better.

Happy 2 weeks, David Vincent.

We love you so.

Love from,

Mommy