Thursday, May 26, 2011

Lilly's Toolbelt

I am deep in the throws of pregnancy.
I am nearing the end, actually.
I have never had a pregnancy feel quite so difficult at the end as this one does.
Aaron says I am always this tired.
I don't believe him.

Anyway, I have a mile long list that seems to be getting checked off very slowly.  
I don't have a lot of time.
Every afternoon I am absolutely devoid of energy and every evening I am so restless I can't relax.

At this point I am pretty certain we are calling this baby our last. 
(aaron would say VERY certain, but can you tell I can't go there yet?  it's all right, you can judge me.  but it is such a hard thing for me to imagine being truly done having babies.)
And so, I have a whole tangle of emotions flooding my already emotional state.
I feel like crying often.
Because as uncomfortable as I am right now, as much as I want this baby out NOW, for the acid reflux and breathlessness to be gone, and to be able to roll out of bed without groaning, I know I will miss being pregnant.
I haven't even let myself think about this being the "last time," because I wasn't ready to go there.
But now I am.  Not ready, but allowing myself because I am face to face with the end.
And I want to enjoy and remember this all.
But it's just not very enjoyable right now.
And so I just feel like a big, hormonal mess of tears and crankiness and sometimes a little bit of insanity.
My poor husband and kids.

What, you ask, does any of this have to do with Lilly's tool belt?
It is just further evidence of my chaotic state of mind.
There is a long list of things I want to write about, but I am just too tired to think.
These pictures are too cute to pass up, so I decided I'd post them.
Few words.  Little thinking.

There is a playhouse going up in our backyard.
Mostly it has been Aaron and James' project.
And I want to write about that because watching the 2 of them work together makes my heart melt.
But right now--I don't have the words.
Hence, Lilly's tool belt.

The other night, Lilly wanted in on the building action.
After bath time and wearing her favorite pink jammies, she headed outside and asked if she could be a builder too,
Daddy outfitted her with James' tool belt.

It was a little big, but she didn't care.
She also had her pink purse because a girl has to accessorize.

And, upon bending over with that tool belt on, the truth was out.
She is like the long line of tool belt wearing men before her.
She has the famous Eskridge crack.

See it?
Except it's cute on her.
(and no, she will never wear low cut jeans to show off that crack to the boys when she is a teenager.  please, just the thought is killing me)

Every time she bent over to do some work, her belt would fall and she'd hitch it back up.

But she still managed to pound a few nails in.

And, no surprise to me, she's pretty good at it.

Hoping for sleep.  
And a productive, or restful day tomorrow.
I'd settle for either at this point.
Here's to the last 3 weeks.  Let's just hope we all survive.
Love from,


katie said...

Love the pink purse with the tool belt. She is such a cutie!

Barbara said...

greta i love your blog. the children are precious, bright and adorable. you and aaron are great parents. very soon you will have this have little one in your arms. i know how you feel because after my third baby i knew he would be the last. much love to you and your sweet family.

Terrie said...

Lilly is so adorable, she is going to make a great big sister and they are all going to be a big help to you when the baby comes, which I hope for all your sakes, very, very soon. Take care and get some rest.

hannah singer said...

what a sweetie! love her jammies and purse.

sending you hugs! i have been emotional too. my little guy is two, we want more children, but just don't know when/if another adoption will happen. so, it is grieving me a little as these toddler days seem to be passing so quickly!

have a wonderful weekend! xo