Just For Fun

"You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me the most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or had ever been alive." James Baldwin

This is why I write.

I have been feeling that a number of my posts, as of late, have been a bit on the heavy side. I suppose my writing reflects whatever is in my heart and head at the moment. And that is where I've been. But really, no matter what the topic is, the reason I write at all is because it is so good to know, that somewhere out there is someone who knows just how I feel. And I hope that they like knowing that too.

The world is a big place. It is easy to feel disconnected and alone. Telling stories makes the world smaller. We know we are not alone. And that feels good.

I started this blog with the intention of it being a family scrapbook. It still is, but it has become so much more. It is a record of our days together, but also my thoughts on being a mother, a parent, a wife and a just a person who is on a journey. A journey with 3, well 4, little ones in tow. I look forward to some day sharing these musings with children. I hope they'll enjoy reading about their childhood and who their mommy back then. I hope they'll have their own babies and this will be of help or encouragement to them in some way.

In the meantime, I share all this with you. I want to thank all of you who faithfully read this blog. The comments you leave make me happier than you could know. I am very grateful that you want to share this little corner of the world with me and mine. I know this isn't a blog where you pop in for a minute and you're done. 1 picture, a few quick words and move onto the next thing on your list. I tend to be verbose. It's always been a problem for me. But if my thoughts in any way make you think, or smile, or laugh or just shake your head and think "I'm glad that's not me", well, then, I'm glad I wrote it.

This was not the original intent of this post AT ALL! I had planned to write something light and fun. See the title above. Oh well. I still will. It is Friday, after all. I'd like to send you into the weekend with a smile.

So, enjoy a few facts and figures from my life, right now and in the days to come.

Soon: 4 kids, no dishwasher. I think we better move "finish kitchen" back up on the list.

Far off (thank goodness): In 13 years I will have 4 teenagers in my house. 19, 17, 15 13. Yikes!

Right now: I have been pregnant and/or nursing continuously since 2003. Am I trying to qualify for my own reality show or what?

Soon: We will have 4 kids sharing a room. Double bunk beds here we come! We'll tell them we're pretending we live on a ship.

Soon: We will have 6 people sharing 1 bathroom. Maybe we better move "add on a bathroom" to the list.

Far off: I will make a dinner that 6 people will eat and like. And it won't be hamburgers.

Right Now: Speaking of hamburgers. I can eat 1 In and Out hamburger and an order of fries and still want another 1. Just thinking about it makes me want to eat 1, right now.

Far off: We will buy a giant, old bus and tour America. Will you still read my blog? (I can dream can't I?)

Right now: My boys are napping, which means they will stay up late, which means soon I will wish I didn't let them nap, but right now it is wonderful.

Soon (sadly) : My boys won't come into my room in the morning and say, "Mommy we like to sleep with you," while they climb under the covers with me.

Right Now: I have to put all those dishes away.

Happy weekend friends.

Hope you get to sleep in, eat a good breakfast and spend time with the people you love.

That sounds just about perfect, doesn't it?

Cheers!

Greta

Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Housecleaner

Do you see that? Those dirty fingerprints on the door frame?

They're everywhere. And they drive me batty.

And the windows. I don't expect them to be spotless. But this? It's ridiculous.

They love to "write" on the windows when it is covered with morning dew, or the steam from when I boil pasta. All well and good, but look at what gets left behind.

Like I said, ridiculous.

But here is the question: which is more ridiculous? Telling them to stop writing on the windows because I just cleaned them, or letting them have fun and cleaning it up afterward?

I want to know. Because these are the kinds of questions that bring me grief.

You see, when it comes to cleaning house, I am a little bit neurotic.

I love dusted baseboards. Walls free of hand prints and smudges. Cabinets wiped clean. Bathroom sinks with no water spots. Organized closets. Everything put away in its place.

I love having a clean house.

Here is the confession part. People ask me all the time, "don't you ever worry about home schooling? That it's all on your shoulders? It's up to you to teach these kids? Doesn't that scare you sometimes?"

I always answer truthfully that no, it actually doesn't worry me at all.

However, what I have never had the guts to say is, "what worries me actually, is that I will never have a clean house again."

I've never said it because, not only does it make me sound like the most shallow person on the planet, but also, a little bit insane.

"I'm not worried about teaching my kids fractions and how to read, BUT will I have a chance to dust those baseboards?"

I sound like I am joking, but I assure you I am not. It really is one of the very hardest parts about home schooling my kids. I don't like to sit down at the table for school when the kitchen is still a mess, or there are loads of dirty laundry to do, a bathroom in need of cleaning or baseboards in need of dusting.

I like everything to be in order before we start something new.

Well, that just isn't possible.

That is not easy for me to accept. In fact, I struggle with accepting it every day. I can't get it all done--at least not all at the same time. There are too many people walking around with their hands on the walls for me to stay on top of it.

And so I am learning. I don't want every other sentence that comes out of my mouth to be, "take your hands off the walls." I remind them. But I also have them wash walls. It still doesn't seem to sink in. They get to dust the baseboards for a quarter. They love to wash windows. They know where all their toys go and can put them away neatly.

But the house is still often a mess. And sometimes I just hate it. I know I am supposed to be teaching them to clean along with me. I do. But nothing ever stays clean. And that is so frustrating.

A clean house makes me feel happy, calm and restful. A dirty house makes me feel nervous, anxious and unhappy. If I let it, this could easily consume me. That is really what it all comes down to. I have a choice and every day I have to choose what matters most.

Today I chose to leave the laundry Lilly made a bed with on the floor while the boys and I finished Black Beauty. The dishes got crusty while we read more books and taught Lilly her colors and reviewed letter sounds. (1 room school house baby!) When Lilly went down for a nap, I didn't say, "Now go play by yourselves. I've got to clean house." Instead, we went outside and worked on the painting project for the boys' room. It was a great day.

I'd like for the chores to be all done before we begin those things. Some are. Some aren't. It is a balance that I have not mastered yet and I don't expect to anytime soon. But I will keep trying. I will keep wiping off those dirty hand prints and dusting those baseboards. And I will pray, every day, that I won't let my neurotic tendencies run our house.

I will remember what really matters.

I'm curious. Am I alone on this one? How do you deal with keeping a clean house and having kids and/or a job and still having a chance to lie on the couch and read a magazine or watch a movie? How do you balance it all? And tips or advice, or just a shout out of solidarity would be much appreciated.

And now, to finish the dinner dishes. Because I really hate waking up to a dirty kitchen.

It's Good Out There

Yesterday started out in the worst way. You know what I mean. The kind of morning when I have to apologize to my kids for being such a jerk of a mom. The kind that makes me ashamed and want to stand in the shower and cry for an hour.

I seem to be experiencing some very high highs and low lows. My emotions are always right on the surface, but even more so right now. Ahh hormones. Don't you just love them?

And really all I wanted to do was stay home. Lay on the couch, play the pregnancy card and let the kids watch countless movies.

But I can't do that. I am responsible for these little people. I have to be bigger than my emotions, and a good example to them. Especially when it's hardest to be.

So we sat on the floor together, held hands and prayed that God would forgive Mommy for being grouchy, that He would hep us have good attitudes and get ready quickly so we could just get out the door.

And He did.

The skies were gray, but the moment our feet hit the trail, I felt better.

It is good to be with friends.

It is good to run.
To explore.
To share.
To be reminded that the world is so much bigger than the walls of our house.

Osprey and their nest.
Wood.
Moss.
Ponds.
Hidden creeks.

Secret views.

And when I came home the house was in the exact state that I left it. And I didn't really feel any better. And I still had to make dinner and do the laundry and read books and do school.

But it didn't matter quite so much.
Because it is good out there.

And that makes it good in here.

Hoping your day finds you outside enjoying a glimpse of His goodness.

Fresh From the Oven: Blueberry Bran Muffins

I wanted to bake something all day yesterday.

But I was out of brown sugar. Do you know how many cookie and cake recipes call for brown sugar? Many. And, I wasn't about to drag all 3 kids out in the rain just for brown sugar.

Thus my oven stayed cold.

Until about 10:30 pm when I remembered this recipe. It didn't call for brown sugar. So I started mixing up some muffins.

Why, you ask, were you mixing up muffins at 10:30 at night? Well, first there was the craving for baked goods, but also Lilly was awake. Like her brothers before her, Lilly sometimes wakes up wanting a midnight snack. And since we were up feeding her, why not make some muffins?

"You know what is great about this recipe?" I said to Aaron as I stirred.

"I can leave the batter out all night and just pop these in the oven in the morning so we'll have hot muffins for breakfast."

"Really?"

"Yep. Says so right here. Leave out at room temperature."

After I spooned all the batter into the muffin tins, I consulted the recipe again for a final look at the "leave out at room temperature" bit. Oh.

It actually meant bake them ahead and then leave out at room temperature.

That is what happens when you combine pregnancy brain with pregnancy tired and baking at 10:30 pm. You turn into a real moron.

"Guess I'll be staying up a bit later tonight."

So at about 11:30 pm, I had a warm muffin, slathered in butter and it was really good.

And it was really good for breakfast this morning, too.

Here are the details.

The recipe is from the Readers' Favorite Restaurant section in Bon Appetit magazine. The muffins are made at Ristretto Roasters in Portland, Oregon.

I know they look hearty. They are. They have 6 cups of bran in them. But they are also moist and tender and just the right amount of sweet. They taste lovely all by themselves, and even better with a bit of butter.

I substituted 1 cup of applesauce for 1 of the cups of sour cream. I also used whole wheat flour instead of white. Lastly, I used oat bran rather than wheat bran because that is what I had on hand.

I think the muffins were still marvelous, and a bit more healthy.

Blueberry Bran Muffins

2 cups unbleached all purpose flour

1 tablespoon coarse kosher salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

2 cups sour cream

1 cup sugar

1 cup vegetable oil

1 cup robust flavored (dark) molasses

3 large eggs

6 cups wheat bran

2 cups frozen blueberries (do not thaw)

Pre heat oven to 350

Whisk flour, salt, baking powder, and baking soda in a medium bowl.

Whisk sour cream, sugar, oil, molasses and eggs in a large bowl.

Whisk in dry ingredients.

Ad wheat bran and stir until almost blended.

Add frozen berries and stir until evenly distributed.

Divide batter into prepared muffin tins (use liner or spray with cooking spray) makes 24-30 muffins, depending on tin size.

Bake muffins until tester inserted into center comes out with a few moist crumbs attached. 20-25 minutes.

Cool 10 minutes and transfer to wire rack to cool completely.

Do ahead: can be made 8 hours ahead. Let stand at room temperature. (I do believe they mean after they've been baked!)

The Art of Pretending

The other day, the boys came out of their room in these get ups.

"Look Mommy. We're Ewok spies. These are our disguises so that no one knows we're Ewoks."

The disguises worked. I never would have guessed they were Ewoks.

Undercover security at Disneyland, maybe. (Note handcuffs, light saber and laser gun.)

Lilly wasn't an Ewok.
But she hates to miss out on the action.

Cheese!

You see, it didn't matter to them that their Ewok costumes made absolutely no sense. That is the art of pretending: anything can happen.

We do a lot of pretending around here. I try to provide an environment that fosters it: costumes, props, the building of forts, the filling up of heads with many many stories for inspiration.

But mostly what I give them is time.

Time to create their own stories, their own ideas, their own games and really their own world.

Kids these days are so busy. There have homework, lessons, sports, play dates, extra curricular activities, tv shows to watch, and that is when they are 5!

And then they grow up and their childhood is gone.

That precious time is gone.

It is easy to think we have to keep them busy, entertained, stimulated, but I assure you, if they have enough time, they'll find a way to entertain themselves.

I found this quote recently that sums it up nicely.

"And so, over entertained, pushed, pulled and tidied up, often the child of today has the rich creative play-response crushed out. Sometimes the only thing his dulled eyes focus on is a premature adolescence which will release him from childhood."

Susan Schaeffer Macauley

Let them be little for as long as you can, because we know how fast time flies.

And how quickly we loose touch with the art of pretending.

Just Because

In the interest of full disclosure, I have to tell you that today I was in the valley.

Yesterday I was breathing the rarefied air of the mountain top.

The birds were singing, I was singing, the children were singing.

We could have been in The Sound of Music. (see here)

But not today, my friends, not today.

It's not good when you wake up to a 3 year old in your bed and you don't even remember how he got there. It's not good when you nurse the baby you are trying to wean, even though she didn't ask for it, because you so desperately want to go back to sleep and you know that is the fastest way. It's not good when all 3 kids wake up in the night.

All 3? I mean, really.

And there were ants today. Lots and lots of them. I eventually gave up trying to stop them so there was a parade of ants across my kitchen floor all day.

It rained all afternoon. Again.

Lilly napped for 15 minutes on the way home from church this morning.

And that was it.

I tired to nap on the couch while she read books in her crib.

It only worked for about 15 minutes.

I didn't feel like reading to them. I just wanted to sleep. Not build a fort. Not make cookies. Not be a good mommy doing fun, rainy day activities.

It was a low day.

And they were actually very good. It was me. I think I might need a day off. (Aaron, are you reading this?) It's been a while.

So this post isn't what I'd planned, but here it is. Here I am. Just trying to be real. There are mountain top days and valley floor days. Tomorrow will be better.

But here are these pictures of this sweet and lovely little girl. I took them last week when the sun was shining and she was lost in a book.

Did I mention I am weaning her? It makes me want to cry. And it makes me want to remember her just like this.

My little Lillian.

O how I do love her.

I'm Counting My Blessings

Hello friends. It was a long weekend--in more ways than one. I was sick for most of it and spent a lot of time on the couch falling asleep there by 8 o clock. I have been saying that this has been my easiest pregnancy as far as sickness is concerned, but I guess I spoke too soon. Sick hit me with a vengeance on Thursday afternoon and lasted until Monday. Most everything I eat makes me horribly ill, and I'd like to not eat, yet I am starving. It's a quandary, I tell you.

Then, inexplicably, on Monday I felt great. Better than I had in weeks. So I enjoyed the day. Aaron had it off and we all went out to breakfast. We took a walk during a break in the rain, came in and made play dough when it started raining again, watched a movie with the boys while Lilly napped and had some delicious pot roast for dinner. It was a warm and cozy day. It felt like a gift after being so sick.

Tonight I am back to feeling awful. I really just want to lay on the couch and be a vegetable. But I miss writing, so here I am. And this is making me forget the yuck, at least a little bit.

The rain hit us hard today. Our street was flooded. The boys and I sat by the window and watched the water rise, the trees whip back and forth, the lightening flash, and the hail come down. I wanted to pile them all in the car and go look at the waves, the rising rivers and the flooding. I'm a storm chaser. It was good I didn't go. There was a tornado by the beach. And people riding jet skies down city streets.

But when the sky cleared a bit, we did have to get out. We headed out to look at the river by our house. Not quite as wild as the Santa Margarita River we always went to see after a big storm in Fallbrook, but exciting none the less. It was a good opportunity to talk about staying safe around water after a big storm. The best teaching opportunities happen in real life, don't they?

Then we hit the nature trail that runs alongside the river. Those rain boots sure are fun for stomping in puddles.

The worms were out after the rain and Lilly was quite taken with them.

There are lots of birds out after the rain too. Like this hawk.

The boys got a closer look with their binoculars.

The trees have lost all their leaves, but are already starting to show new buds.

That little bird was hiding in the tree while I was taking pictures of the branches. He had a beautiful blue head and tail. I am going to try to figure out what kind of bird it is. A blue bird of some sort is a good place to start, I'm guessing.

We also saw this little beauty. It was William's favorite due to his yellow head and the yellow markings on its chest. That boy loves yellow.

After all the rain, it felt so good to be outside, to feel the sun on our cheeks and the wind in our hair. The air smelled good. The birds were singing with extra fervor.

And despite being sick, and tired as all get out, I was just overwhelmed with gratefulness to be here, with these 3 little people who fill my life with such joy and discovery. I never knew it would be this great.

And soon there will be 4! My tribe, my crew, my brood. The 5 of us can have our own basketball team. Many times a day I find myself smiling a very full smile as I think about this new life and the joy he or she will bring us. It is a sweet thing to be a mother.

I am richly blessed.

"Count your blessings,

name them one by one.

Count your blessings,

see what God has done.

Count your many blessings,

name them one by one,

and you;'ll be surprised to see what God has done."

________________________________________________

I know this is a long post, but all these thoughts of gratefulness and blessing can't help but bring to mind the people of Haiti. I haven't seen many of the pictures. We don't have TV, so I don't see the news. I choose not to look at much on the Internet because I can't bear it.

On Sunday though, there were pictures of Haitians in church. Hands and voices raised, they praised God. And I wept. I marveled. I thought of the song, It Is Well With My Soul.

"When peace like a river attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows roll

Whatever my lot

Thou hast taught me to say,

It is well,

It is well with my soul."

And I wondered, "could I do that?" If I lost my home, my husband, my friends, my sister, my child, could I look up and still say, "It is well with my soul?"

I don't know if I could.

There is not much we can do from here. Most of us can't go there. But we can pray for those who do. We can pray for the babies who have lost their mamas and the mamas who have lost their babies. We can pray for healing and hope.

But I want to remind you, too, that faith without works is dead. There are many places to give.

The Salvation Army. The Red Cross. World Vision.

Don't have Starbucks this week. Don't get your car washed. Don't buy sugary cereal. Buy no name cheerios instead.

Do give. Do help. Do remeber to count your blessing and then bless others.

With a grateful heart,

Greta

Life At the Zoo--the Monkeys

At the Eskridge Zoo, the monkeys love to take their mattress off their bed and jump on it. The girl monkey likes to jump in her princess dress and the little boy monkey likes to jump with his sword and the big boy monkey likes to climb up the bed and jump down onto the mattress from it.

They all laugh and scream, like monkeys do.

They have a grand time.

Every one's favorite exhibit at the zoo is the monkeys.

They are very entertaining to watch.

When they tire from jumping and wrestling, they rest for a bit.

Until their next monkey escapade.

Hope your weekend is full of all sorts of fun escapades!

Greta

Poetry Recitation and Fort Building--Just Another Day at School

Yes, it's another post about home schooling. This was such a great day that I have to share what our kiddos are up to. I hope that, whatever your schooling method is, you'll come away from these posts inspired to try new things with your kids. They're up for it! It's really about our attitude.

Our home school group is following many of the ideas set forth by the educator Charlotte Mason. Her philosophies, her emphasis on literature and nature study, as well as character training and development appeals to us mamas. The kids all seem pretty happy with it too.

One of the many interesting ideas in a Charlotte Mason education is recitation. That is, child recitation of poems, scripture or other pieces of literature. Even though are kids are all very young, kinder or younger, we thought it would be good to introduce this to our kids now. If we begin now, it will soon become familiar and comfortable to them. At least this is what we all hoped.

It went so much better than I could have imagined.

We chose the poem, The Rain, by Robert Louis Stevenson. It is a short and approachable poem. Also, we thought it was an appropriate "winter time" poem for the kids. (Funny thing is, it has been blazing hot the last 2 times we've gotten together and recited our poem)

All the moms learned it with their kids and the idea was we would not ask the kids to say it by themselves yet, but that the mommies would model for them and then if they wanted to, the kids could say it.

I was really surprised at how excited the boys were to learn the poem with me. There was a part of me that worried they'd think it was weird, or embarrassing for us to be saying a poem together. But they liked it. It is all in the delivery. I explained why and how we'd be doing it and after just a few times of saying it together, they had it down pat. Even Lilly would stand with them and say as many of the words as she could get in. My little 1 and a half year old is doing poetry recitation too. Because the whole family does school together!

When our group met, the kids played for a while as usual, then we gathered them together for recitation time. First the Mommies. Then we did a fun rain sound-making activity. It was great to see all the kids participate. Even ones as small as Lilly were right there in the thick of it, taking in what they can. I really love that.

When we asked the kids if they wanted to say it together, they all said, yes! and, on their own accord, they stood together, held hands, and said the poem together.

It was great.

This will become a regular part of our home school days. In the past, learning and reciting poems was something everyone did. But it isn't any more. When I taught high school, teaching poetry was such a struggle because it was like teaching a foreign language. But if I begin introducing poetry, and I mean literature, not Dr. Seuss, to them now, it will become a part of their language and vocabulary.

And that makes this literature major, English teacher and bibliophile very, very happy.

After recitation time, the kids went off to do their thing. They made a fort.

I hate to harp on an old topic, but after years of being asked how I felt about socialization, while I was actually being home schooled, and now being asked again while I home school my own kids, I'd like to point out the following things:

All of these kids, aged 1.5 to 5.5 built this fort together.

There was no adult direction, or input.

They talked to each other.

They came up with a design and a plan together.

They carried heavy logs together.

They worked together.

They communicated.

They encouraged each other.

They didn't put out any one's eye.

They didn't drop a heavy log on any one's head.

They let the littlest ones help.

They respected each other's ideas and listened to each other.

I don't really think we have to worry about their social skills, do we?

Traditionally schooled kids go to special assemblies and classes to learn this stuff.

I say, give them some sticks and watch them go!

Hurray for poetry and learning in God's creation.

I couldn't have asked for a better day.