Wednesday, March 17, 2010

1 Month--We're Doing Better

It has been a month.
We're doing better.

Last week I ventured to Disneyland. I didn't feel quite up to doing it by myself, so my sweet Ginger came along. (more on that later--stay tuned)
Watching William on the Teacups filled my heart with such joy.
I think he has taken this the hardest. It is so good to see him smile.
Even his eyes are smiling.
Last night we were eating dinner at the picnic table, under the avocado tree and life felt good.
William was sitting next to me.
Out of no where, he put his arms around me and said, "Mommy, I'm glad you're not sick anymore."

Oh that sweet, sweet, sensitive boy. How does a 3 year old have that much understanding?
He's right.
I feel more stable. There is less up and down. More up. Less crying. More smiling. Less frustration and anger over insignificant things. I feel more like me both physically and emotionally.

Mostly I think about it at night. When things are quiet, I still get sad. Sometimes I can't believe I'm not pregnant anymore. I'd probably be feeling the baby move now. Instead, I'm packing away maternity clothes.
The thing that helps is when other mothers tell me that the hurt lessens but the missing remains. It is OK to feel sad still.
And it's OK to feel happy.
We're doing better.
Thank you for being here.
Love Greta

1 comment:

Erin McDonald said...

I am so glad to hear you guys are doing better. I on the down side now so I am feeling a little more of what you were feeling. We can do it though! God has promised to be there with us and boy am I glad He is so faithful! I love you friend! keeping living!