I've been put in a box before. The home schooler box. The church girl box. The idealistic, new teacher box. Now I am in a Mommy box.
Sometimes being in a box is bad, sometimes good, sometimes it just is. It is how I see myself and how I think others see me. It is my whole identity summed up in one word.
Mostly I don't mind being in the Mommy box: driving my mini van, my world revolving around nap schedules and snack time. This is the life I choose and I like it. I wouldn't trade it, or ask anyone else to do it for me so I could be off in another box.
But there are times when I like to remember there is another Greta in there too. I am nicer if I get away every now and then. It is the same reason I write these blogs--my brain needs to think about something else. Ironically, I often end up thinking about my kids, motherhood and parenting, but it is a different kind of thinking. More about intention and less about survival.
When Aaron suggested attend this, I said "heck yeah I'll go!"
But it was one of those afternoons. No time to shower, wash or iron something cute to wear, just throw some makeup on and whatever is clean and head out the door, running late as usual.
Upon arrival, my Mommy status felt very obvious. Here are some things I noticed. Most of the women there had beautiful eyebrows. I can barely remember to pluck mine, let alone get them done professionally. But I think I'd like to try sometime. It makes a difference.
No one was wearing formal wear, but they looked cute and put together. I need some go to outfits that look cute and put together. They had accessories.
I have jeans.
I don't have heels.
I am not glamorous.
I am practical.
I would like to be more fashionable, but really, where do I even begin?
That's not the box I'm in right?
After the panel discussion, I made my way to the ladies room. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I couldn't help but laugh. I looked awful. On one side of my mouth, my lip liner ran above my lip line. William bumped my arm in the bathroom while I was putting it on and in my hurry to get there on time and find parking, I forgot to fix it. My new hair, growing back after falling out post pregnancy, was sticking up all over the place. My sweater was wrinkled. The hem of my jeans were coming up on one side. I was wearing flats, not heels.
I just laughed and laughed. You see, a while ago, this all would have bothered me so much. I wouldn't have been able to relax and have fun because I would have been focused on myself. I would have felt uncomfortable and like a big dork.
But, now that I'm a mommy, I have a different perspective. Sometimes just getting out the door is a victory. I would like to be more put together, nails done and accessories in place. But if it doesn't happen, I can survive. I can have fun, even. And I did! Read about it here. Being a Mommy has forced me to think less about myself and more about the things that really matter.
And really, it could have been much worse. If Lilly was still an infant, I probably would have walked in with spit up on my shoulder and breast milk rings on my chest.
Oh, the life of a mommy; writing a mommy blog, living in my mommy box and from time to time, even remembering to pluck my eyebrows.
Here's to mommies everywhere!