Last night Lilly woke at about 4 am. As I sat on the couch holding her, I found that I didn't want to rush right back to bed. Her body was so warm. She snuggled up against me and gave a little sigh. Her soft, even breathing told me she was asleep again, but I didn't put her back in her crib. She is so busy during the day now that we don't have many opportunities to cuddle. Even nursing her has turned into more of a wrestling match than a bonding moment.
So I sat there, in the quiet of the wee hours, and listened to her breathe. I kissed her soft, round cheeks and whispered sweet nothings into her ear. As much as I dread hearing her wake in the night, I know I will miss it when it is all over. It is our time. Her little world is opening up and everything is changing so fast, but I feel like I can slow it down for just a bit, while we sit in the dark, in the wee hours.
She turned 9 months old on Monday. As her 1st birthday approaches, I find myself having more of these middle of the night moments. I love to see her growing, but I want to hold onto my baby. Oh the eternal struggle of motherhood.
At 9 months she hasn't lost her baby fat. She has 3 teeth now. She loves to pull herself up on everything, but won't get down. That would mean falling, and she just screams instead. It seems she is not quite as mellow as we've thought. Her greatest joy is standing somewhere where she can watch her bubas play. The one word she says repeatedly is "bubu." (That is a soft u sound) She follows them around like a dog, and plays legos, trains or trucks with them. She really, really adores them.
She likes to do "So Big" and when you ask her to say hi, she gives the most adorable Miss America wave you've ever seen. It is all wrist. She still doesn't know a stranger and will befriend anyone. She's never cried when left at the nursery or with a sitter. She just looks around as if to say, "so what's this place all about?" It seems like life is one big, exciting adventure for her.Lillian is such a mixture of James and William. Not just in looks, but in personality too. She has the interest in everything going on around her that James had. And she has the intensity about some things that William had. Mostly food. Wanting it, and wanting more of it.
Tonight when Aaron came home, she has a huge grin on her face. He said hi to her and then moved away to greet a brother. Lilly clenched her fist and gave a scream.
"What's wrong, Lilly?" Aaron asked her.
"She wants you to pick her up, " I said.
He did, and she nuzzled her head right into his chest and then gave him a pat, pat on the back. When she pulled her head back to look at him, her smile was a mile wide.
Only 9 months old and she's completely stolen her daddy's heart.