Beach Days

After hours on the beach, I pile all the gear into and on top of the car, rinse off shivery bodies, pull out the dregs of the snacks from the bottom of the bag because everyone is STARVING, soothe the cranky and teary meltdowns , and try to hold it all together myself, not lose my patience, and end up saying things like, "if you don't stop crying, we are NEVER going to the beach again!"
And then we get home and it's quick! make dinner, get them bathed, and into bed because they are so wiped out.
It is always kind of frantic and crazy, and everyone is on the verge of hysteria.
Beach days end hard.

But those long, long, hours at the beach are worth all that.
Every. single. time. they are worth it.
Today William, Davy, and I spent an hour kneeling in the shallow water hunting for tiny, darting, fish that hide in the sand until our hands stirred them up.
William caught one with his quick little hands.
He was so proud.
What fun we had, spying on that quiet world under water.
Today the boys built a city of sand with their buddies.
They were building Stonehenge and Hadrian's Wall, and some other British landmarks they've learned about in history.
I loved listening to their conversation, "how did they get those stones up anyway?"
Today Lilly floated around in a little, green inner tube that someone left on the sand.
She is far too big for it, but was happy as a clam, as she floated along, booty dragging on the sandy bottom.
Today Davy romped around with all the big kids, and loved his life.
Today they spent hours in the water on surf boards and boogie boards, talking and laughing, and hanging out in the water with all their buddies.
Today they swam to the wall, jumped off the dock, and braved the swarm of boats being piloted by novice sailors.
Today, they lived a beautiful day.

Sure there were moments that weren't so perfect.
Sand in the face and sun screen in the eyes.
Toddler fights over sand toys, and water bottles.
2 pooping trips to the public restroom, where I wanted to barf rather than stand there waiting for them to finish, and have to tell my 2 year old not to touch anything 5,000 times.
I really, really, really hate public restrooms.
There is no such thing as constant bliss--at least not on this earth.
This quote really fits those kind of moments, don't you think?

As the sun sank lower and the beach grew emptier, my heart was full from our time there together with friends, and with each other.
Time in the sun, in the water, and enjoying God's glorious creation.
It blesses us so deeply.
After the tedious job of loading everyone in the car, we pull away from the curb, and I say the same thing every time, "I had such a great day with you guys!  I love being at the beach with you.  I love you all so much."
And it's so true.
Even if there is chaos when we get home.
At 9 pm I am still wearing my damp bathing suit and cleaning up the kitchen from our slap-dash dinner.
I am tired.
But it was worth it.
The good things always are.
I love summer time.

Hope your summer days are treating you right.--little stupid things and all.

Love from,

Greta

Practically Perfect In Every Way--Our Palm Springs Weekend

2 weekends ago Aaron and I escaped to Palm Springs.

When you have 4 kids, getting a weekend away requires more than a little bit of planning.

It took 2 sets of grandparents, an aunt and uncle, another aunt, and a dear friend to get all the kids taken care of for the weekend.

In the week leading up to our getaway, my mom fell and had to get her finger stitched up and a split in her chin glued together, my mother-in-law developed a terrible case of bursitis, my sister and brother in law were expecting 3 visitors and a dog to spend the weekend with them in their already crowded house, yet they all still said, "yes!  drop off the kids."

And then Davy got a high fever, a terrible sore throat, and wouldn't sleep at night.

It seemed the stars were not aligned in our favor.

He was a little better by Friday, so we decided to go for it.

(I never would have done that with the 1st kid)

Leaving much later than originally planned, we headed out.

At the last minute, Aaron decided we really had to drive the Falcon to Palm Springs, so we squeezed the whole fam in the wagon, and dropped the kids off one by one.

Driving in the Falcon always attracts a lot of attention.
But when it is loaded with 4 kids and a bunch of vintage suitcases in the back, we attracted a LOT of attention.
All told, we spent over 2 hours in the car, just dropping the kids off at their various destinations.

I was still pretty worried about leaving Davy, but he turned into a different kid the moment he saw my Dad, his best friend.
He squealed and laughed and played, and was happy as a clam.
My parents assured us everyone would be fine, and shooed us off with instructions to come back as late as we wanted on Sunday.
With a deep sigh of relief, we were on the road!
Maybe it is just me (but I pretty sure it is a universal Mom thing) but I find it so hard to let go of the guilt whenever I leave my kids behind.
And I don't mean I feel guilty about leaving my kids.
I know they are fine, and that it is good for us all to have a break from one another.
I mean the guilt I feel about everyone who is watching the kids, that Davy might keep my parents up all night, that Lilly will fight with her cousins, that the boys will ask for too many snacks, and all sorts of other ridiculous scenarios I create in my head.
It took the entire drive for me to really relax.
The moment we pulled off the freeway and Mt. San Jacinto loomed over us, the light from the full moon hit the mountain and lit up all the snow.
"Oh look!" I cried.  "It's so beautiful!  It's magical!"
And it was.
It felt like that moment happened just for me--a reminder that we were really there, somewhere so different from home and our everyday life, and that I should soak it all in, and enjoy my time with my best friend.
So we did.
.........................................................................................................................................................
We rolled into Palm Springs at 9 pm and ate dinner at a restaurant called Birba.
Not only was the food fantastic, but the people watching was extraordinary.
It was Moderism Week in Palm Springs (the reason we were there) and that night there had been all sorts of fancy parties where people dressed up in their mid century best, and had cocktails in places like Frank Sinatra's house.
For reals.
How cool is that?
I think Aaron was in heaven looking at everyone dressed up in fabulous plaid jackets and gorgeous, full skirted dresses, looking like they walked right out of 1962.
It was a fun night.

The next morning dawned sunny, clear, and Palm Springs beautiful.
I was so glad Aaron chose to drive the Falcon.
It was the perfect way to get around PS, and she looked right at home amid all the mid century architecture.

Seriously, isn't she just the cutest?

We went out for coffee and breakfast and then headed out of town for a hike.

Since we always visit Palm Springs in the summer, we never get to see the mountains covered with snow.

It is a really beautiful sight.

This was our first hike in PS.
Summer temps aren't conducive to hiking, so we never get to do it.
Aaron dressed for the occasion in an ascot, and a sweater tossed jauntily across his shoulders.
He spurns modern day hiking gear, and things like cargo pocketed hiking shorts.
His response to my,"That's what you're wearing to go hiking?": "What would Cary Grant wear if he was hiking?"
I love this guy of mine--he makes me laugh.

We hiked 4 miles along an amazing palm oasis in the middle of the desert.
It was astonishingly beautiful and one of the most favorite hikes I have ever done.
I'll tell you all about it in my next post.

We did a lot of looking at gorgeous vintage goods, but not a lot of buying.
We have enough vintage stuff now that things have to be a great price in order for us to add to our collection.
Or it must be something we don't have and is on the list.
We didn't get anything, but it was awfully fun to look.

On Saturday we spent the afternoon at the vintage trailer show that was part of Modernism Week.
It was so much fun.
Just look at this little beauty.
We got to walk inside all of them, talk to their owners, and dream of the day when we'll be sitting inside one of our very own.
It was fun to be around a whole bunch of people who geek out over the same things we do.
There will be lots more pics of my favorite trailers over at Picnics in the Park.
Be sure to check it out!

I even had a celebrity sighting at the trailer show.
Charles Pheonix!
He was really nice, admired Aaron's ascot, and was super excited that we lived in one of So Cal's original 50s suburban communities.
We speak the same language.
I love Charles!

But you know what the best part of the day was?
Just cruising around with my man.
He was in his element amidst all that mid century coolness.
We laughed a lot, held hands, sat close on the bench seat in the Falcon, and had entire conversations without being interrupted once.
It was glorious.

Sunday morning dawned clear, windy, and cold, (for us) but still sunny.
We admired the pool from inside the warm house.
It's pretty wonderful to have generous friends who let you stay at their Palm Springs house because otherwise you could never afford to visit Palm Springs in the high season.
Thanks you guys!
We even had a view of the snowy mountains from the breakfast table.

After a visit to a vintage garage sale, and coming very close to purchasing a 1962 Shasta trailer, we went for another hike.
This one was the beginning of the Cactus to Clouds hike, and it was 1.5 miles of straight up.

It's an 850 elevation gain in only a mile and a half.
If you go the whole way, it's something like climbing 10,000 ft. (makes the 850 seem pretty lame, right?)
Doing that whole hike is now on my list of life goals.
It was a lot of scrambling over rocks, but the views were breathtaking.

And then, breakfast at my favorite spot.

The rest of the day was spent tooling around PS, doing a tiny bit of thrifitng, (not much to find this time of year) and leaving as the sun was setting behind the mountain.

This was the first time we'd been away for a night since my birthday, last August.
And it was the first time we'd been away for more than 1 night in probably 3 years--maybe more.

As hard as it is to make it all come together, getting in the time together away from our kids is really important to keeping our relationship healthy and strong.

Also, it is a lot of fun!

Thanks to all the fine people who made this trip possible.
We owe you big time.

Palm Springs, we love you!

Love from,

Greta

This Home Schooling Life: Back to School

We started school again today.

It was fun to be learning with them again.
After only a few weeks off, I had already forgotten what Queen Mary had done to Lady Jane Grey, and why the people of England disliked her so much.
James remembered all the details and filled me in on the information we had just read together 3 weeks ago.
We enjoyed learning more about Michelangelo and two of his contemporaries, Leonardo Da Vinci and Raphael.
I've taken art history classes, but I had no idea that one of Raphael's most famous paintings, the Sistine Madonna, has these little cherubs in it.
Did you?
I've always thought those cherubs were pretty cheesy and lame, seeing them on the covers of journals, umbrellas and tee shirts.
I thought they were a creation of the 90s, and certainly not 500 + years old.
You learn something new every day.

Well, I do anyway.
I feel like I am getting a 2nd education as I teach my kids.
It's really amazing.
I love our curriculum so much.
The books we read, all the history, the Shakespeare, the biographies, the biology, botany, and nature study, it fills me, mind, heart and soul.

It's never been the teaching part of home schooling that is hard for me.
It is so fulfilling to teach my own children in the way that works best for them, with the very best kind of education I can offer them.
That's the easy part.
It's the rest of my life that makes home schooling a challenge.
And after a few weeks off, the challenge seemed a bit more daunting today.
How quickly I forgot that the house is a full blown disaster by 4 pm, just when my patience and energy are at their very lowest.
I forgot the endless stream of interruptions to our school day: Davy asking for water, Davy spilling water, Lilly needing help with her letters but still wanting to do it all by herself, realizing Davy learned how to climb the ladder on the playhouse and rushing outside in the middle of a lesson, 4 needing snacks and lunch, helping one kid with borrowing and carrying while doing phonics with another , Davy crawling on me while I read on the couch with William, and so on, and so forth.
I forgot that sometimes by the end of the day I start saying things like this: "no one in the kitchen now!  Mommy needs her personal space while she makes dinner!"
I forgot that by the time Aaron gets home I am ready to run out the door for my 2nd workout of the day just to release some of the tension that has been building up between my shoulders.
It's either that or a big bowl of ice cream.
Can you relate?

It's easy to feel like I am a martyr sometimes.
Like I have a harder lot in life than anyone else.
But I know I don't.
Not by a long shot.
During my workout this morning, I was talking to another mom who was going to rush home after our Boot Camp class, get herself and her son ready, and rush them out the door to school.
When I get home from Boot Camp, the house is often still dark and quiet, and the only thing I rush to is the shower, where I stay for a long time.
Other moms I know have to have everyone up and dressed, fed, lunches packed and in the car by 7:30.
I often have kids still asleep at 7:30.
And certainly no one is dressed by 7:30.
I think about my friends who work outside the home and I say to myself, "well, it's easier for them because no one is at home making a mess, so their house stays clean all day."
When I know the truth of the matter is that my house is torn up from the floor up when we're trying to get out the door, so I'm pretty sure they come home to a messy house after a long day at work.
No fun.
What it really comes down to is that mothers work hard no matter what they're doing.
(Fathers do too, don't get me wrong, but I'm talking about moms right now, OK?)
And some of us have it much easier, or much harder, than others.
Or sometimes a bit of both.

In the end, I am forever grateful for this opportunity I have to stay home and home school my kids.
I have a husband who fully supports me doing this, and that is a true gift.
I have kids who like it and, most of the time, enjoy learning alongside me.
I know I am fortunate indeed.
It's just that after 3 weeks of vacation, it's hard to get back to normal.
Like James said today, "it's kind of hard to get everyone adjusted to school again, isn't it, Mommy?  Is that why this is kind of a hard day?"
Yes it is, James.
Yes it is.
Wishing you a speedy adjustment period as you start your 2nd half of the school year--whatever that may look like for you.
And encouraging you to remember the truth of this verse:
"Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."  Hebrews 4:16
Even if you feel like you are, you are not doing it alone.
Love from,
Greta

Remembering This Moment: James Does Palm Springs

Aaron had to deliver some paintings to Palm Springs this weekend. (see them here)
It was supposed to be 65 and sunny, so we thought we'd make a family day of it and go for a desert hike.
I found some amazing sounding hikes described here.
We planned on doing hike #4.
(Aaron and I hope to do #1 on our own first, and see if I can manage it with Davy on my back, and also if the kids are ready to do a slot canyon hike yet.  It sounds really great--I'll let you know when we do it)
I was looking forward to the day.
Alas, Davy and Lilly were sick in the night and it didn't seem like a good idea to hike with a feverish baby, who'd alsobe dripping snot down my back the whole time.
I was kind of bummed.
But James went with Aaron.
And they had a really, really great time.
I'm so glad it worked out the way it did.
It would have been so different for him with all of us along--more chaotic and less relaxing--that's just the nature of doing anything with 4 young kids.
Instead, James got to soak in the environment, architecture, art, and even the food in a way that he really appreciates.
He got to spend the day with his Daddy, who understands him so well because they are so much alike.
They understand each other in a way no one else does.
He's an old soul, that 8 year old boy of mine.
And, no surprise, he's turning into a real mid century aficionado.

When they got home, I asked James if he liked Palm Springs.
"Oh Yeah!" he replied.
He loved the store that's selling Aaron's paintings, Just Modern, and told Aaron, "Just Modern is different than I imagined it would be.  It's a really cool store."
Aaron took him to see this bank, a  famous piece of mid century architecture in Palm Springs.
James was blown away and described it to me with great excitement.
He also loved the visitor center.
He loved seeing the snow on Mt. San Jacinto and was pretty sure that after about a 3 hour hike, he'd be in the snow.
The giant windmills intrigued him.

Yesterday he was still thinking about the trip.
"It was such a clear day in Palm Springs.  We could see for miles.  I still remember everything.  I can just see it in my mind."
One of my favorite things about James is his love for discovery.
Whether he's learning a new idea, hearing a new story, or visiting a new place, he's always interested.
Because it was just he and Aaron, they could take their time and really spend time soaking in this place he'd never been before.
It was the perfect kind of day for James.

After delivering paintings, and driving around a bit admiring mid century architecture, my boys went to the ACE for lunch.
True to form, James wanted to check the whole place out.
He also wants to go back and stay.
"There are 2 pools there, Mom," he told me.  "One is for parties and playing ping pong.  And the other is just for relaxing.  It's really cool."
He really appreciated all the interesting details at the ACE.
That boy is just like his Daddy.

This is my favorite picture of the day.
He's 8 right now, but looking at this picture I can see him at 20 or 40.
And also when he was an infant, eyes wide open, taking it all in.
Oh my James, I do love you so.

His review of the food and drink at The King's Highway:
"Mom, the ACE hotel has reeeally good chocolate milk."

Since I was missing out on the trip, I asked for a souvenir.
My men did not disappoint.

This may be my favorite photo booth strip of all time.

There's such a tug of sadness on my heart as I watch my babies grow up.
But there is also something pretty wonderful about watching them turn into real people, with their own thoughts and ideas, interests and the things that make them who they are.
When James was only a couple of months old, a checker at Trader Joe's looked at him and his eyes wide open take on the world.
"He has an artist soul.  I can tell already," she said.
I think she was right.
How fortunate am I to be married to, and now mother to, such creative men.
It makes for a really interesting and beautiful life.
Happy days indeed!
Love from,
Greta

*All the pictures were taken at the ACE hotel in Palm Springs.  Including the photo booth strip, because they have a photo booth there.  Which makes it one of my favorite spots.

On Freedom, Home Schooling, Fresh Starts, and.......Mustaches

It was the kind of day that started out perfectly.
I went to my 5:30 am work out, which helped me make breakfast for my family, pack my husband's lunch, and deal with all the typical early morning craziness in my home, with a smile on my face and a spring in my step.
I love the early morning workout.
The kids were full of just as much energy as I was, overflowing with it, actually.
So when the boys asked if we could go for a bike ride I said, "yes!  Let's do it!"
Normally I'd say, "we have to do it later because we have beds to make, and the kitchen to clean up, and school to do."
But the day before had been rainy and we'd been inside all day.
I wanted to be outside just as much as they did.

As they rode and I ran behind them pushing the double jogger, I thought how glad I was to be getting muddy with them.
They love the feeling of racing ahead of me, the rush of speed and freedom it brings.
I love seeing the smiles on their faces as they race down the hill at the end of the trail.
I love the way they were waiting for Lilly, Davy and I when we came around a corner, gesturing frantically for us to be quiet and pointing to these beauties--a white egret and a great blue heron.
We stood together and watched them hunt in the long, wet, grass.
It was the kind of moment that makes me so glad I am home with my kids, schooling them, living and loving life with them.
"I am so happy right now,"  I thought as I looked at the 4 of them.

We stopped again to rejoice over the colors on this tree.

And to take silly pictures together.

I reflected upon the hours I was spending doing these things rather than our regular morning routine.

It's really a perfect example of why I home school.

I love the freedom of home schooling.

I love the freedom to design and use my own curriculum.

I love the freedom to assign one day a week, every week, to field trips.

I love the freedom to spend time on art, poetry, music, art history, and literature almost every day.

I love the freedom of doing school outside if we want, or in our pajamas.

I love the freedom of learning science at the tide pools, in a piece of literature, or on a hike, and not just from a textbook.
I love the freedom of making school goals like, "this year we will learn to make a perfect loaf of bread."
I love the freedom to memorize scripture verses and hymns each month.

I love the freedom to say, "let's start our day with a bike ride instead of chores and school."

It's a pretty magical way of doing school with my kids.

The funny thing is, to some people that doesn't sound like freedom at all.
Being home all day, with all their kids, day after day sounds like prison to them, not freedom.
They think I'm trapped, and say things like, "I could never stay home with my kids," and "I'm so glad I get to go to work every day" and "I can't wait for school to start every September."
And you know what?
I understand why they say that.

Because I would be a liar if I didn't tell you that sometimes I don't feel free.
Sometimes I feel trapped, claustrophobic, and overwhelmed.
I wait half the day to take a shower until Davy is down for his nap, hoping by then I can get 5 minutes of time to myself.
It never seems to work though, because the moment I'm in the shower, naked and dripping, someone is pulling aside the shower curtain and asking for something.
And that's when I just want to yell, "CAN'T YOU SEE I AM IN THE SHOWER?  I AM NAKED!  I AM SOAKING WET!  I CAN'T SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS RIGHT NOW! CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE FOR 5 MINUTES!"
Being a parent is the hardest thing I've ever done.
Being a parent who home schools has intensified that a hundred fold.
I'm not saying it isn't wonderful.
Because it is.
Really, truly, incredibly wonderful.
But also, really, truly, incredibly hard.

Parenting is hard because you never get to punch out, go off the clock, take a lunch break, or go home.
Your kids are always needing you, wanting you, sucking the life out of you.
Wait.  Did I just say that out loud?
One of my favorite sayings about having kids is this one:
"Having children is like being pecked to death by a chicken."
You know you love your children, but you also know that saying is so true!
But for me, the part of parenting that is much, much more difficult than the neverendingness of it all, is the way it highlights all my faults.
There has been nothing else in my life that has shown me more clearly how selfish I am.
Also how prideful, impatient, unkind, and unfair I can be.
Yes, parenting often brings me face to face with the very worst parts of myself.

And, like I said before, home schooling intensifies all that a hundred fold.
We're always together.
I love that.
But sometimes, well, it feels claustrophobic.
When it's been a full day of all 4 of them needing me simultaneously, over and over again, there comes a point when I sometimes think, "I can't do this.  I'm going to pull my hair out.  I just want to run away.
Davy is literally haggling from my pant leg, Lilly is asking me for a drink of milk, James is saying, "well, my first question is....", and William wants me to sit down and help him with his math, and it almost makes my skin crawl, "I can't meet all your needs all the time!"
Have you been there before?

This school year has been the hardest for me yet.
It's a combination of things, I'm sure.
More kids equals more wonderful, but it also equals more work.  
There is just no way around that.
That's why working out has been such a great thing for me.
It has done much to help me in the moments when I previously felt overwhelmed.
The days that I work out I find that things don't feel so overwhelming or insurmountable.
I have a more positive outlook.
I have more energy.
I'm more flexible--mentally and physically.
I have more joy.

This day was right in keeping with all that.

My cup was running over with joy!

But sometimes, it still isn't enough.
Some days there are moments when the ugly parts of me are stronger than anything else.

On that day, the moment we got home from our bike ride/run, all I felt was behind.

All I could see was the mess.

All I could think about was the work that lay ahead of me, and how we would never get it all done.

I'd be working until I fell asleep that night and would not have one moment to myself.

Remember how I told you parenting, and home schooling, shows me how selfish I am?

I was so selfish at that moment.
My thoughts were completely wrapped up in me.

So we got right to work cleaning up the house.

I helped them make up the bunk beds and had a conniption when I realized how dirty the wall was next to their bed. (remember, all I could see was the mess?)

"This is why I tell you not to put your feet on the walls!  Do you even see this?  Come on, you guys!"

And I set them to scrubbing off all that dirt.

Yes, I admit it.
Sometimes I am insane.
Thankfully, I am not deaf to the whispers of the Holy Spirit.
When I walked back into the kids' room and saw the three of them standing there scrubbing, bunk bed pushed away from the wall for better access, I repented.
It wasn't the fact that I was making them clean off the dirt that they put there.
It was the way I made them scrub the dirt off the wall.
I did it with anger, frustration, and impatience.
I did it with a selfish heart that asked, "why are they aways wrecking this house?"  
I did it with an attitude of poor me, rather than an attitude of, let's work together to get this clean because we're a family and we help each other.

I stopped them.
I knelt down to look them in the eyes and I said, "I'm sorry."
Like every other time I have treated them unfairly, they forgave me.
We prayed together.
And James said, "can we have a fresh start, Mommy?"
"Yes, my love, we can."

Fresh starts always begin with an honest apology, a seeking of forgiveness, and a prayer to ask God for the strength to change.
And then we spend purposeful time together, connecting with each other. Sometimes that means we just have a big, tight group hug.
Or we have a tickle fight.
We cuddle on the couch and read a favorite book.
Or we go to the nature center and hike the 2 mile trail.
We have hot tea and popcorn.
That day it involved some sticky mustaches, taking lots of pictures of each other, and laughing ourselves silly.

I am so grateful for fresh starts.
The big ones--there have been some of those.
And the little ones--there have been lots and lots of those.
Those fresh starts are the moment when I realize that I can't fix everything myself, no matter how hard I try.  (and I try hard.  remember, I like to be perfect)
Ultimately, as much as I don't like to see it, I am grateful for the way parenting and home schooling show me the truth about myself.
I am flawed, and I need help.
But no matter how flawed, no matter how many times I mess it all up, I am forgiven.
I have been given the greatest fresh start of all. "If any man is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has gone, the new has come!"  
(2 Corinthians 5:17)
I don't have to fix myself.
He's done the work.
And that, my friends, is the greatest freedom of all!
Love from,
Greta