Friday, June 25, 2010

Big Girl Bed Blues

2 years ago William figured out how to climb out of his crib and life as we knew it ceased to exist.
He is finally easy to put to bed.  
But now....Lilly figured out how to climb out of her crib and life as we knew it has, once again, ceased to exist.
What's up with these kids?

When James moved out into a big boy bed, long before he climbed out of hi crib, he stayed there.  He got out of bed once.  He got in trouble and he never did it again.  Maybe having a James first was an unfair set up for the reality of a William and  a Lilly, who don't give a flying fig about staying in bed.

And I am sad, and yes, even a bit embarrassed to say, that we now are back in the trenches with another one: not wanting to stay in her bed at bed time, climbing out over and over, flopping around like a fish on the sand, crying and making us generally insane.  
You'd think we'd have figured it out after doing it with William.  But we haven't.
It is hard to admit you don't know what the heck you are doing.  
But this girl is even more determined that William, and she is determined not to go to bed.
We can't tie her in, can we?

So tell me, have you had a Lilly?  Do you have advice for me?  Are we just going to have to wait it out again?  Are you laughing because you've been there and come out on the other side?  Or are you in disbelief because your children have never done such things?  I'd rather not hear about that, if you don't mind.  Remember, I had 1 perfect sleeper too.  And if I kind of rubbed that in to you at some point, I am dreadfully sorry.

The worst of it is, it doesn't end once she falls asleep.  I don't even want to tell you how sometimes in the middle of the night, one of those 2 comes to our bed and I just let them in.  Because I am so tired I just don't care.  And then the other one comes.  And 4 people in 1 double bed just doesn't work.  (Thankfully, James is just snoozing away on the top bunk.  If he wanted in, I think we'd just give up and turn the living room floor into one giant bed)  
So the musical beds begins.  I take William back to his bed and I just climb in with him, cause I'm so tired.  Or Aaron takes Lilly to her bed, and yes, he has actually fallen asleep with her in a TODDLER bed.
It is a sad state of affairs around here.
We were in a good bedtime place for a long while there.  It was easy.  Almost, almost like the old days.  

But nothing stays the same.  And I tell myself that so I'll know that this, too, will end eventually.  But right now, I am pretty tired.  Of everything.
And I admit all this not because I want your sympathy, but mostly to know we are not alone.  It's like this at someone else's house too, right? Right?

Here's to hoping you get some good sleep this weekend.  I am looking forward to some also, in about 2 years.  Happy weekend.
Love from,

PS. Even though she doesn't want to be there at bed time, isn't her bed cute?  That makes is the teensiest bit easier to bear.  
No, not really.
PPS.  I am going to be posting a bit less often, read about it here, for a bit.  So check in a few times a week for new stuff.  I just can't seem to keep up with anything right now.  Bear with me.


Christina said...

When Caleb (now 9) was first introduced to a "big boy" bed, we had this same problem. Our solution was simple, yet required a lot of time and patience on our part. We would put him to bed, then one of us would position ourselves just outside the bedroom door. We could see the side of his bed, but he couldn't see us. The second those little feet hit the ground, we would calmly walk in and put him back in his bed. The first night this repeated about 30-40 times (no exaggeration). We never said a word, just put him back in. This went on for a few nights, decreasing in number each time. After 4-5 nights, we never had a problem again. A couple of years later we did the same routine with Ethan. (and our kids shared a room as well).
I'm also happy to report that at 7 and 9 years old, they pretty much sleep through the night every night- there is hope! :)

Rob said...

It's a tricky thing, getting kids to sleep in a way that we want them to. With our three kids we have run the gamut of less than ideal sleeping situations.

We've always co-slept with our kids for the first year or so, and I am quite adept at sleeping on couches, so it hasn't been too bad, but it took me some time to look at it from the standpoint that as long as everyone gets sleep, I don't really care where they sleep!

With our youngest, the weening has been more difficult, which makes sleeping more difficult, so we gave him his own room, we wait till he is really tired, close him in there, and let him cry it out (which really made me crazy for the first week), but now he is okay and we open the door at night so he can shift over if he really needs to. Again, as long as we are all sleeping, I don't care where it happens!

Betsi* said...

I agree with Christina. That's what we did for Isaac, our bull-headed boy. And trust me, that boy has a will of iron. It took time and tantrums but it got done.

I'm afraid to say that we've also slipped back into a slack bed ritual. Everybody goes to bed in their own beds at bedtime but come 2 am a chubby three year old is to be found climbing in bed with us.

It's pure selfish on my part because I am too tired and he is my baby and I know he's going to get big so fast. I relish cuddling him and kissing his sweet little head at night.

Take heart. I have never met a family where the teenagers still sleep with their parents!

Remember to splash some grace around throughout this transition. Grace goes a lot further than determination with our littles.

katie said...

We just went through this with Jack. We borrowed a pack n play and put it in his room. For some reason, he could not climb out of that even though he climbed out of his crib. We told him that if he got out of his bed that he'd have to sleep in the baby crib. That did the trick after a few nights. I have a blog about, but I just have not posted it yet. You are not alone! : )

Anonymous said...

We put a baby gate at the door of our little ones room so we knew she wasn't wandering around the house and so she could see coming into our bed wasn't going to happen. Then it took lots of nights putting her back to bed and some bribing mixed with some tears and several cheers in the morning. Maybe you could try a crib tent until your ready.:)

Rachel said...

We put our two year old in bed and then sit outside the door and wait for him to try and leave, and then put him back in. We found that the further he got outside of his room, the harder it was to get him back to bed. So, we stood (sat) vigil. (We did a LOT of reading.) But now he finally stays in there (most nights). My sister in law uses a crib tent. I think she just has it laying on the bed since her son isn't in a crib anymore. Probably everyone has a different approach. But you are definitely not alone!