Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Mamma Said There'd be Days Like This

When I started this blog, I wanted a place to record the details of life with my 3 little ones.  So many of the small details, whether happy or sad, funny or frustrating, are forgotten at the end of my long days and I want to remember, always, what these days are like.  If I record only the sweet stories, the pretty moments, the we- are- a -perfect- family moments, I would be missing out on a lot of good stories.  I want to remember days like this too.  So I can look back at the problems that seemed huge and horrible and know God saw me through and they were not really very bad at all.  I want to remember days like this.  Because I will miss them.  At least that is what I tell myself.

I also hope that one day my kids will call me, tired and tearful, from long days spent with their own little ones (ahh sweet revenge) and I can share these stories with them.  I can listen and encourage and say, "you'll get through this, because I did."  I hope I can be a helpful Mom, even when my kids are all grown up.  Well, that is is if they live long enough to grow up.

It was one of those days.  The kind of day where I am watching the clock and using every once of self control I have not to call Aaron and say, "you better leave at 5 today, not 5:30, or 5:15 or even 5:01, or else someone might be locked in the bathroom when you get home.  Probably me."  The kind of day when I wanted to take every toy that my children have and throw them in the trash to get them to stop fighting and just SHUT UP.  The kind of day when I want to tell them to SHUT UP and barely, just barely, keep from doing it.  Because they'll say, "you said a bad word, Mommy."  The kind of day when William decides to help himself to a bag of chip crumbs right after I finished sweeping.  

The kind of day when he decides to climb on top of the changing table and knock everything off of it, except, thankfully, his sister.  The kind of day when Lilly is choking on the snot that is not draining out of her nose and is therefore a bit grumpy.  The kind of day when  William decides to stick stickers in his hair instead of on the paper like a normal human being. 
The kind of day where every task I start is interrupted by blood curdling screams, over and over and over again. Almost always because James built something and William wrecked it. The kind of day that ends with William climbing back up on the changing table,which is actually a huge, 6 drawer dresser, that he pulls over, almost on top of himself.  It was only the grace of God that he wasn't smooshed.  

It was the kind of day where I had to rely on that very same grace of God to get me through. Of course it wasn't until I was at my wits end that I decided to stop trying to do this on my own, and then I came up with a couple of good ideas.  For example, after I had talked to the boys a million times about being kind, speaking with love, sharing, saying sorry until it sounded like blah, blah, blah in my ears, I decided it was time for a new tactic.  I remembered the verse, "For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any double-edged sword, able to penetrate the soul and the spirit the joints and the marrow.  It judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." (Hebrews 4:12)  So I thought, every time these boys fight about something, we are going to say this verse, "Be ye kind, one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake forgave you."  (Ephesians 4 :32), in the hope that it will penetrate their soul and spirit and one sweet day, they will learn to be kind to one another.  Within and hour or 2 they knew the verse.  And I don't know how much it did for them, but it did a lot for me, because it reminded me to be kind and forgiving.  When I felt like being anything but.  

It was also the kind of day that when Aaron walked in the door he said, "you need to get out of here.  Just go somewhere. I've got the kids."  Maybe it was the look in my eyes, or the tears.  Take note, sons.  You will have a much happier wife if you say this to her occasionally.  And I was.  After walking around a bit in the grown up world of Fashion Island, looking at clothes, sipping coffee and enjoying QUIET, I felt restored.  The problems of the day seemed less fierce, less difficult and just less.  Even if they fight, and she's fussing and William does things to deliberately annoy me (I think he has a special link to my brain that tells him what to do to bug me) I can get through it.  Because bottom line, there will be days like this.  Probably tomorrow.


Erin McDonald said...

I must say that William is a boy after my own heart! I know when he came out Jacky Chan he had spirit! Let's just call it "I am made of rubber and your made out of glue, what ever you thought my kids were going to turn out like will happen to you!" I know he is the hard one now but beat his butt now and when he is old he will not depart from you! I know I know I switched a few words but trust me it is true!!! I love you and I am so glad you don't have it all figured out yet, You have always been the perfect woman and it is nice to know that it is not true. You how ever are so incredible wonderful and I LOVE you and your wild life! Keep on keeping on!

kristen said...

It makes me laugh when I read this. Sorry! There is that new country song that says your gonna miss this your gonna want this back. I agree with Erin, it is kind of fun to know we can relate. Isnt it the greatest when you are in the car driving away from it all?!! love you